Forgive or not to …

Kindra, while extrication from the implicit guilt attached to the socially normative expectation of forgiveness tightly woven as it is to some expected moral purpose of one’s own inner health, predicated on the attention placed on the person forgiven therein, surely so too, one has to not only extricate oneself and detach, but thoroughly shed the complicit Shame.

Forgiveness is not forgiveness as an act of sociable charity, nor is it a genuine self-discourse of owning the right to be offended, — and for however long is as indeterminable as any given length of string; only you know how long is long enough.

Anything short of being true to oneself is an unforgiveable act of compromise and only serves to feed the general malaise of the disingenuously righteous for thinking they have any sort of say in it at all.

Emerging from the sphere of wounded-ness is as much about process of self as it is s choice to enlarge one’s internal landscape with insight and it is what and how any one chooses to live with the lesson learnt of that particular offense, is what makes the real difference ; but a difference to you, not necessarily the offender. They have their own lessons to learn, or not.

For-give-ness is not a moral compass to be imposed out of the need of others to dish the dirt further by way of guilt a d shame, so prevalent in families and the internet, as if this invisible moral high ground were not some metaphoric horse to fall fast from, but shoes, in which, no taking aim, has the guts to tred.

If you forfeit something of yourself in the giving -ness of pardoning any offense behaviour at any time, that is surrender in self-betrayal and no one is that bloodyworthy of such a sacrifice, even less dare anyone have that kind of shameful expectation of another.

Forgiveness is only authentic when it embraces an understanding, not condoning the why of the offence and that is rare insight and acceptance, for with it comes an uncompromised letting go of the injury and mostly, human beings will fight to the last to hold on to their suffering, for all the ways in which it shapes them.