The Real Housewives of Cluster Analysis
If nice-nasty, “frenemy” pettiness feeds your need for dramatic indulgences, get your DVR set to record the newest flavor of the Housewives series. In the elite world of analysis, these ladies run the social scene. Get in line or prepare to be read like a CSV. Season one cast includes:
AGNES
Agnes sees herself as the queen bee in this analytics hive. She tends to classify people into different tiers, of course, considering herself the zenith of the hierarchy. As the leader of her social circle, she hosts elaborate dinner parties and employs a variety of methods for determining who belongs with who. She may judge based on how close people live near each other or how similarly people behave. In the end, Agnes finds a way to group everyone into appropriate clusters. Despite her snobby demeanor, people trust Agnes and her expertise when in need of analysis — even though they know their troubles will be converted into town gossip.
DIANA
Agnes and her younger sister Diana often clash because Diana has a very different perspective on society and class. Diana believes we are all one cosmic soul, experiencing life individually. When Diana plans the party, everyone receives an invitation. Once everyone arrives, Diana starts splitting people up into groups so that the conversation keeps flowing. Her flair for hosting makes everyone see Diana as the life of the party while Agnes gets cast as a motherlike character. What hostility could arise from this difference in sisterly perspectives?
PAM
Pam sheepishly attends soirees with an unenthusiastic vibe. Pam despises being social, but she shows her face at every event because that’s what ladies of Cluster do. Her meek demeanor belies her extreme views. She believes in walls and making sure people stay with their “own kind.” Pam recognizes several ladies as leaders of the respective cliques, let’s call these ladies “medoids” as they tend to be in the middle of their friend groups. To Pam, ladies should hang out with the medoid to who they are closest. Pam is an isolationist at heart. Rank and pecking order mean little to her but she still rubs other ladies the wrong way because of her introverted personality. Will Pam come out of her shell and make friends with one of the other ladies?
CLARA
Clara, Pam’s older sister, rivals Agnes this season and they often vie for the title of social queen. Clara throws the biggest galas and loves to show off her influence to Agnes and Diana. As a successful entrepreneur and aspiring politician, Clara loves to be in charge and comes off as a real bossy. Clara especially bosses her little sister Pam, who she gets to do a lot of her campaigning work. She pulls in Pam to help with identifying social influencers, similar to Pam’s clique medoids, with the goal of getting her campaign message out to the people. Clara splits her targeted constituency into several smaller groups for which Pam selects detects leaders who can serve Clara’s agenda. Clara and Pam often clash with Agnes and Diana to stir up real drama.
FANNY
With all the gang-like behavior, Fanny swoops into the season like a breath of fresh air. Fanny doesn’t believe everyone needs to stay with their own little social circle and she stirs up drama by bringing individuals from one social coterie into another. Fanny sees herself as the peacemaker who just wants everyone to get along but her constant butting into friend groups tends to create more friction than harmony. Fanny figures the drama is worth it. Why split everyone into separate groups when a fuzzier perspective creates fewer boundaries between people?
Clusters and hierarchies are at stake when big data meets small data and methodology clashes. Whose silhouette metrics will be below zero and who will stand out as the leader of the ladies? Live tweet me your thoughts this season @DataScienceHumor #TakingABreak #BeingSilly .
