Business English Conversation: How to Grow Your Network

Published: on 23 June 2016

The importance of social and professional networking was again confirmed recently with the acquisition of LinkedIn by Microsoft for a staggering US$26.2bn. The rise of social media has meant the lines between our personal and professional lives have become blurred and the seemingly social conversations we have can have great impact on our professional lives.

It’s with this in mind that in this post we’ll look at some of the key factors for successfully growing and maintaining your professional network through the conversations you have.

Remember the importance of Small Talk

We often think of small talk as being ‘filler’ type conversation before we get to the real topic of business or to fill time until something else happens, e.g. a meeting starts or a business partner’s taxi arrives.

However, it’s during these mini-conversations that you have the opportunity to build rapport with the other person and not only focus on the business. This is the time when we get to connect with each other as people, and not only as professionals.

Susan Scott, author of the book Fierce Conversations, reminds us that “every conversation has the potential to be life-changing.” And so we should truly listen to our conversation partners. We should be there, in the moment, and not somewhere else with our thoughts because we have disregarded small talk as ‘filler’ conversation.

During such brief conversations, we’re not only connecting more with others on a personal level, we’re also learning more about each other and our similarities and interests. Every new piece of information can bring us closer together, and each one of these little conversations has the potential to grow into something big.

So, in essence, as author and York Associates director Bob Dignen has said, “There is no small talk, only Big Talk.” This is the perspective we should approach all conversations from.

What are you going to talk about?

Deciding what to talk about can be difficult, and is also culturally influenced. Common small talk topics are the weather, travel, food, and sport. Topics to be avoided or at least treated sensitively are, for example, religion, politics, and family.

What did you think about the positioning of family in the list above? Perhaps you were thinking, “That’s a safe topic”, or maybe you agreed and thought, “Yes, I’d avoid talking about family with my business partners.” This is where cultural sensitivity is necessary, as what might not be normal for you could be very common for someone else. Refusing to talk about a specific subject can damage a relationship rather than help it develop. When communicating internationally, you need more flexibility than you might be used to in your own country.

If you find yourself in a situation where the conversation is leaning toward a subject you’re not comfortable with, you need to be able to lean it back onto a different direction without being forceful or ending the conversation. A good strategy for this is to listen for key words that could be related to another topic and follow that, for example:

Ed: My son was playing football last weekend. Did you have a nice time with your family?

Jay: Yes it was nice thanks. Speaking of football, have you been following the Euro 2016 championship? I was watching it at the weekend.

(and if they haven’t, you could then turn the conversation to find out if the other person watches other sports)

Be interested in other people

In his book, ‘How to win friends and influence people’ Dale Carnegie wrote that one of the key success factors for bonding with others was to get them talking about themselves.

Having a genuine curiosity about other people and interest in them can help you learn more about life, the world and the world of work. At the same time it can help build rapport with them and strengthen your relationship. This is also linked with Point 1 above about Big Talk.

Think about your communication style and whether you tend to make statements (e.g. I think…, I saw…. ) or ask more questions (e.g. Tell me more about that? What experience do you have of that? etc.). Asking more questions can help you learn more about others and connect with them more successfully.

So, the next time you have small talk with someone, reflect afterwards about whether you asked more questions or made more statements. Actively try to develop this skill, ask more questions (without interrogating) and notice how it positively affects the conversations (and relationships) you have.

What can you do for others?

Networking conversations aren’t all about ‘free time’ related topics though. These conversations could also involve just asking the person about what they’re working on at the moment, or what’s the news from their office.

Having a good network is not all about what you can get from it. It’s about having connections with others and identifying what you can give to your network.

The best networkers are the ones that are thinking, “How can I help you?” and not, “How can my network help me?”

This might mean helping a contact with some expertise you have, or it might just mean connecting two people within your network because you know they can help each other. It’s not about getting something back.

Though, as you connect more people, and connect with more people they will also start to connect you with others. This is how networks grow best built on supportive relationships.

So, as our working lives and professions become more fluid, it’s essential to grow and have a strong network.

The next time you’re having a conversation with a business contact,

- remember that it’s Big Talk, not small

- be sensitive to their comfort levels around the topic

- ask more questions and think about how you can help them or connect them to others

- reflect afterwards

York Associates runs a full range of training courses, from language to leadership, from its executive training centre in York, UK and client locations around the world, including interpersonal skills training.

Photo credit: Steve Debenport for iStock

Originally published at www.getnewsmart.com.