Five Hardcore Selling Tips — Not for the Faint at Heart.

Balls, Feet, Sugar, Time, and Money — Cocaine and Elvira’s Boobs, Too.

Here are a few selling tips from my upcoming book — a mere preview of the ass-kicking to come. These tips are geared more towards online selling, but there’s sure to be some value in here for the offline salesperson as well.

1. No means “no” only on dates or during sex. So unless you have your client tied to a bed in your hotel room, you don’t have to take “no,” for an answer. This is easier said than done as it requires a bit of testicular fortitude — that is, BALLS. Dogged persistence. Stubborn perseverance. Determination. Tenacity. Resilience. I call it the Joe Pesci/Nicky Santoro (Casino movie) approach — keep going back, just don’t give a fuck, be stupid like that. In most cases a “no,” is only a signal that the prospect needs more information. That’s what you learn in sales school, anyway. So, yeah, go with that. Keep giving them more information. The more you tell, the more you sell — just don’t talk yourself out of a sale. Stay focused.
2. Always keep a FOOT in the door. Years ago, when I sold insurance door-to-door, I was told (trained) to always have my foot ready to stop the door from being slammed in my face. Ouch. How creepy is that, right? Today if I ever did that, people would call the cops! But that’s how we did it — we hit ‘em hard like that. WAIT! Hold it right there! Don’t close that door, there’s more! Sometimes it’s worked and turned a “no” into a sale. Other times, it meant getting a dog sicked on me or a shotgun pointed at my head. Oops. Today, you have to be more tactful about it. Of course most of us aren’t selling door-to-door. Now it’s mostly phones and email. Regardless, when a prospect tells you, “Please don’t come here anymore,” or, “Please don’t call here anymore,” or, “Please remove me from your mailing list” — you have one last, split-second chance for a comeback, and you need to be prepared for it! You get one more shot to speak to them before you leave, or to email them back and say, “OK, will do, but, oh, wait — by the way…” or “Oh — just one more thing…” — like Steve Jobs. Better yet, think like Peter Falk as Columbo: don’t leave without that one last question. And it better be a good one! It’s your last chance to open up a new conversation, and if you do it right, they’ll forget all about having told you to fuck off.
3. Pour some SUGAR on me. Well, not on me, but on your prospects. People like sugar. What’s sugar? It’s sweetness, love. It means getting sweet on them; buttering them up, kissing their ass, stroking their ego, whatever you want to call it. Butter them up. Kiss them. Stroke them. Stroke them hard. Tell them what great ideas they have. Make it their idea. When they ask questions, tell them what great questions those are. Great question! Wow, you really know your stuff! When they make suggestions, tell them what awesome suggestions they are. People don’t want to be “sold” to, they want to make their own conscious decisions to buy. They want to be the sophisticated, educated consumer making a sophisticated, educated, big-boy or big-girl decision. Give them that, and when it becomes their idea, they’ve sold themselves. And then it’s time to get them to sell their friends on it, too!
4. Instead of compromising on price, compromise on TIME. Often times we’re tempted to lower a price just to make a sale. I’ve done it a bunch of times and I always end up kicking myself in the ass for it, especially when the next day the client says, “Oh, with the money I saved I bought a new laptop.” Motherfucker! I hate when that happens. If a client can’t meet the price, there’s always a work-around. Rather than offer them a huge discount up-front, get them to agree to making payments — but at a higher price. No one sells at MSRP, “suggested retail price,” or full price, anymore. Everything we sell is always a “great deal” already. No need to make it an even better deal, that just tells the client that the original, “good deal,” wasn’t such a good deal to begin with. Instead, stay firm on your “good deal,” price. That’s the up-front, cash-money-right-now price. If they can’t pay that, they don’t have to be shit-out-of-luck; the alternative is to pay over time. Paying over time, however, means ultimately paying the full price — or the initial “good deal,” plus finance charges. Typically, my clients will pay 1/2 down, and the remainder over time, whatever we agree on. When you do it this way, your “good deal” remains a “good deal,” — you don’t compromise price, only time, which you have plenty of that if it means being compensated for it.
5. Close and get the MONEY. You don’t make money until you ask for it and get it. You’d be surprised how many salespeople do everything perfect, right up until the point where they have to ask for money, then they blow it, they shit the bed. That fear kicks in — holy shit, this is where they’re gonna say no, I just know it! — and then they stall or they stammer like an idiot, just long enough for the prospect to think about it and do just that — say, “no.” That’s like dropping the ball at the 1-yard line. Don’t drop the ball. When you get to that point, remember this, there’s no bigger adrenaline rush in the whole world than to ask for money and get it. Period. You can skydive off the moon, and it’s not the same. You can zipline over the Grand Canyon, nope, not even close. You can do fat lines of coke off Elvira’s big titties and it still won’t compare to the rush you’ll get. Your body will be like, wow, that was awesome…. now what? But win some cold, hard, cash money from a tough prospect after some hardcore wheelin’ and dealin’ and BAM! — you’ll feel your shit go boing! Your panties will be dripping wet. It’s like getting it on for the first time, every time. Trust me, I know this for a fact — this is why adrenaline junkies and addicts of all kinds love to be in sales, and are often good at it. They love the rush. So if you want to get the ultimate high, without the drugs, and if you want to feel like a million bucks, even if it’s just a $50 sale, ASK FOR THE FUCKING MONEY. You don’t have to be an addict or an adrenaline junkie, just learn to love the rush. Say, show me the money, motherfucker! (But say that only in your head.) You like sex, right? Then you’ll like winning peoples’ money from them, it’s that close, and sometimes even better! But you won’t ever know until you get the balls to ask for it. Remember that, just like in fishin’, it don’t count until you get it in the boat! The sale is not made until you get the payment and it clears the bank. You can’t get it if you don’t ask for it. And once you do get it, you’ll be glad you did!

— P.

Phil Autelitano is Founder and CEO of Mediarazzi. We develop content, channels, and applications for Roku and Connected TV. For more information on launching a Roku channel, visit our website at: www.mediarazzi.com

@PhilAutelitano