The Anxiety of Remembering, The Anxiety of Forgetting
by Bhavin Shah
Picture this: In 15 minutes you have your biggest meeting of the day. It’s with a contact you’ve met once or twice before; you know her a bit, but not well. A lot hinges on this meeting, so you need to make a strong impression. You did some research last night, but now as you’re heading to the meeting your mind goes blank. What was the last thing you talked to her about? Where did she say she was going for vacation in between these meetings? And where did she go to college?
You’re not sure what about her background, her accomplishments, or her interests might come up again. Maybe none of it will. But you’re worried because you can’t quite remember any of it. You find yourself scrambling to look up old email threads or notes you took to help jog your memory. Your anxiety mounts as you try to remember all the things swirling in your head before you walk into that room. What are you going to talk about to break the ice?
We’ve all felt this way once or twice before. It’s the anxiety of remembering, and it’s an obstacle we constantly face while building new relationships. The other side — the anxiety of forgetting — occurs shortly after a meeting when you’re trying to remember all the critical information you just learned. Did you swap stories about a mutual friend, or did she tell you the names of her new twin boys? Was it Eric and Sean, or Derek and Sean? If only you had written it down… but that would have been awkward when she was in the middle of showing off baby pictures!
These anxieties exist for virtually all people when they meet others face to face. The anxiety of remembering and the anxiety of forgetting align with the most common workplace worries, including not knowing how to make small talk, not being able to remember people’s names, and forgetting something important in the midst of multi-tasking.
These anxieties have been an inherent part of life in the past. But now they don’t have to be. Refresh provides the technology to prepare you for meetings and build relationships in a powerful, reliable way. You can spark what’s possible in every conversation.
With Refresh, pre-meeting notifications send you a dossier on the person you’re meeting anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour beforehand, giving you plenty of time to review. Knowing relevant Twitter and Facebook posts takes you out of the realm of small talk and gets your new friend or business partner talking about something she really cares about. Having her significant other’s name at your fingertips, or notes on your last conversation, saves you the embarrassment of misremembering.
After your meeting, Refresh takes the work out of following up with a quick reminder. Note children’s names, hobbies, even their plans for the weekend. As Smart Business Revolution blogger John Corcoran writes, “You never know when this information may come in handy in the future.” And rest assured your Refresh notes are always secure and private to you, safe for the next time you meet.
To get the most out of your meetings, Corcoran also advises sending an email within 24 hours that will make you memorable. Including useful data, offering further info, and focusing on the recipient in that email is exactly in the spirit of the Five-Minute Favor, which pays off with deeper and more meaningful relationships down the road. Not sure what to include in that email? Check your Refresh notes and see what was on the top of your mind shortly after the initial conversation. Or just review the dossier to remember the common ground that you found.
What tips do you use to deal with the anxiety of remembering and the anxiety of forgetting? Tweet us @RefreshApp on Twitter and let us know!
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