“Sorry, We’re Choosing Another Candidate”

5 lessons learned from declined job applications

I sit here, reflecting, after a series of rejected job applications.

Having recently undergone some personal shifts, dotted with enthusiastic surges of inspirational 2014 resolutions, I’ve found myself in an interesting state of unemployment.

My previous run included liberal use of the word “funemployment”. This particular phase of my life left me slightly deaf, a little weathered, but opened to an amazing world of new found interests and passions.

I became a freelance blogger and found a deeply rooted love for writing, photography, and travel. Commended by my social circle for living an adventurous, yolo lifestyle (you know, before it was a thing, and a terrible thing at that), I look back on it as a period of personal growth.

So I’m back in the unemployment space, but my mindset is different. Yolo in thought (I’ll stop with that, I promise) but with a new drive to pursue something with purpose, earnestly. To be honest, I’m not sure what that something is yet, but I’m okay with that.

But as I continually answer inquisitive friends who want to know what’s next? I give a handful of cycled responses alluding to keeping an open mind, exploring options, etc. Some simply wish me luck in my future endeavors. Others (who I can’t thank enough), actively feed me applications and soft intros to companies across different industries and job roles.

Not wanting to be a deadbeat, of course I apply. It’s the right thing to do when you’re unemployed and seeking purpose. Right?

So I sit here, reflecting, as every one of my application attempts gets rejected.

A couple phone screeners here and there, but no thing major. And as I revisit the wallowing, not good enough feelings that plagued me through undergraduate job-recruiting, I also notice strange new nuances in my thoughts since the last I’d undergone the traditional job search.

1. I’m actually not that bummed — Granted, I have a modest, but reasonable runway and freelance gigs lined up, but nowhere near the security and comfort that a salary’d position would grant.
2. I feel more gratitude than pain —Pain stemmed from loss is a visceral feeling. Physically, it manifests between your chest and stomach — a tightening sensation that can cause shortness of breath, rapid eye movement, and totally un-alpha behavior.

Gratitude is more subtle. No physical sensations, more cerebral. By remembering what you’re grateful for, you can calm yourself and mitigate negative emotions, even under stress. Gratitude is good shit. Practice it more.

And with this particular batch, I had one application rejection (more like three, but one company) that’s been especially significant.

Significant to the point where I’ve learned five important lessons and felt the need to write them out.

And because I’ve learned something useful, I’ve also been able to feel wins over defeat, and exchanging pain for gratitude. Maybe it wasn’t the win I was looking for (landing a job) but a win nonetheless in other ways.

Prior to last week, I didn’t know this company existed.

But as I did more research, I knew I wanted to apply (roommate referred me to the job postings page, totally by chance).

1. Fast growing tech startup with a distributed team. All positions are work from home.
2. Generous starting pay, even for non-tech positions + equity options.
3. Great travel & hardware perks with annual international retreats.
4. A highly unique company culture, advocating radical transparency, and a supportive environment that actively encourages personal development.

“Wow”, all around. Definitely a company I want to work for. And as luck would have it, they had three positions I qualified for.

1. Content crafter — Blog writer and content marketer; covers lifehacking, social media and online marketing, business.
2. Lifesaver — Administrative support for the C-Team, wears many hats.
3. Weekend Warrior — Customer “Happiness” support for weekend hours.

“A writer I am, so a writer I shall become”

I’m a writer. So naturally, I applied there.

I saw this as a great opportunity to move up to a new level; but immediately, I felt under-qualified. Most of my writing’s been in journalistic pursuits, and unfortunately, I didn’t have any articles under my belt that fit their criteria. At least, nothing to show in the capacity of an e-published writer. I applied anyway.

Rejection came within a few hours. I was surprised with the quick turnaround, but not so much after a closer review of my email, which I concluded to be, meh.

My tone was way off. I knew I was under-qualified for the position and I’d tried emphasizing enthusiasm and passion for learning and growing to make up for my lack of requested experience. Nope.

LESSON ONE: Be confident in your skills and always put your best foot forward.

Desirable companies and jobs will always garner the best candidates to choose from. Best fit, qualifications, everything. Outliers exist, but they’re not the norm — and they usually don’t occur without soft introductions or an ongoing relationship building process.

NEVER LIE, claim anything you haven’t done, or aren’t capable of doing, but don’t waste precious email and/or cover letter space explaining shortcomings. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

You can explain the finer points of your professional storyline once you’ve gotten an interview. Honesty and transparency are great and highly encouraged, but at the right time and place.

OK, strong operations background. I’m a shoe-in for this next one.

After taking advice from scrappy, but credible colleagues who’d read my first application, I applied to the next position. I adjusted my tone and removed unnecessary backpedaling. Instead I focused on convincing them I was the best person for the job and how I would ABSOLUTELY WRECK IT (is that even a thing?) in a great way. (Not word for word of course).

There was a longer turnaround this time, but eventually, a rejection. Old feelings of dejection bubbled up, deep *sighing* and self-murmured words of encouragement ensued.

Lesson Two: Don’t take things personally. Remain objective.

It’s easy to get lost in your own thoughts. A million questions popped into mind: Was I under-qualified here too? Too enthusiastic? Is there something wrong with me? And the torrential downpour of stormy raincloud introspection goes on, ad nauseam.

People tend to place greater emphasis on negative emotions and memories than positive ones. Though my personal doubts were fleeting, they were present, and lingered.

And these small doubts are all you need to snowball into a lowered state of mind. For some, it prompts comfort seeking behavior in unproductive ways (sulking, ice cream barrels, TV marathons) and/or doing things that generally reflect low states of self-confidence: emailing employers to reconsider, burning bridges (extreme examples, I know).

Take rejection objectively and use it as an opportunity to get feedback. Make sure you can take constructive criticisms objectively and remain open to the prospect of not getting a reply.

Use rejection as an opportunity to learn and grow (which brings me to my next point).

Lesson 3: Consider your job hunt as an iterative process, not an all or nothing experience.

People deal with grief through various states: denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. It’s how we protect our precious egos before we’re truly able to accept something painful.

Skip all that, or at the very least, minimize it and get to acceptance as soon as possible.

View the job hunt as iterative. Make refinements to your resume and process; whether it’s tweaking your resume through getting feedback, prompting you to learn new skills, or taking it as a chance to figure out what exactly is important to you (job function, vision, culture, work life balance, pay, title, etc.), every rejection can provide clarity on your goals and needs.

Through this process, I’ve learned that I value freedom and mental bandwidth to write and work on side projects. So a high stakes desk job or something with long hours might not be an ideal fit.

So I applied for the 3rd and final position.

This application was a mixture of everything I’d implemented up to this point. There was also a different hiring manager (though I’m assuming someone must have recognized my persistence). I was confident in my cover letter and Huzzah! I was offered a chance to move onto the next round with an in-depth customer email screener.

Immediately, I buckled down for the evening, answered their questions, and sent it off. The response came promptly.

“Sorry, we’re unable to move you forward at this time.”

And there it was. No more lifelines. No more chances; only the opportunity to respond with a simple thank you and a vague reference to maintaining contact for future opportunities. This was indeed a company I wanted to work for, but unfortunately, the fit just wasn’t there.

And all the while as I applied for these positions, I did everything I could to learn about the company. I read through their fantastic blog (which provides great lifehacking, marketing, and startup advice), and I followed conversations on their Twitter about motivation, transparency, and human cognition (they’re a Twitter-app company).

They had things I wanted to be a part of. I wanted to work in the online communication space, travel to great locations, read more e-books, and surround myself with driven, motivated individuals.

I’d been rejected as a writer, but even as I applied to the admin and customer happiness positions, I planned alternative scenarios in my head of building up a library of lifehacking and online marketing posts, outside my normal job responsibilities. “Yeah! By working here I’ll have the resources to become the writer that I want to be!”

But why can’t I still do all these things?

Lesson 4: Become your ideal you.

Going out on a limb, but I suspect many of you might have gone through the same experience as me. Whether it’s with a job, project, or other pursuits; by fixing strong meaning to a desired goal or outcome, you imagine yourself in that desired role. You assume that by achieving this goal, you’ll become that ideal candidate and bear new responsibilities.

Remember, you have the power to do anything you want.

Don’t wait for things to happen or a new job to prompt (force) you to pick up new skills.

Want to write more? Do it. Surround yourself with motivated and entrepreneurial individuals? Find meet ups and branch out. Be trusted with more responsibility or work in social media? Volunteer to take new roles at your current job to build your skills. The list goes on and on.

As we covered earlier, every failed job application is the chance to learn, grow, and refine your skills and needs. Some people feel discouraged when they hear:

“Please stay in contact, we’d love to hear from you in the future”.

For some, it’s as good as a crumpled note, a painful rejection to be forgotten. For others, it’s a challenge. A challenge to learn, fill holes in your skill set, improve, and mold yourself into the “ perfect” candidate for your desired position.

What kind of person are you?

Lesson 5: Embrace silver linings.

Through all this I’ve learned a lot. I didn’t realize it at first. I felt dejected, “sort of down but I’ll be okay”. It wasn’t until Squarehead, a colleague, pointed these things out that I was able to consider this experience a win and an experience worth writing about.

• Despite not actively searching, I was able to refine my resume + cover letter, reassert what’s important to me, and identify what I need to work on.
• I learned about a curious company, who’s making huge waves in the startup world with their radically transparent culture and “over-commitment” to great customer support on a simple, and mostly free mobile app (it schedules your social media posts).
• I’ve been opened to the possibility of finding other companies who share the same ideals of transparency, with a lean, flexible company structure.
• Through following their blog, I’ve found new inspiration for writing and discovered a handful of similarly-minded entrepreneurs who write deeply motivational articles (J Clear, D Sharkov, among others).

So why did I decide to write this abhorrently long article about rejection?

First off, I told myself I’d write more this year. Secondly, I’m hoping to shed some light for individuals who might be going through the same discouraging experiences as me. And whether it’s about sending out resumes, making career changes, building your startup, whatever. DO NOT let rejection and self-doubt keep you from moving forward with your goals.

*By the way, Buffer is still hiring. They’re a stellar company and I’m excited to see what kind of growth they’re going to see in the coming years. Be sure to check out their hiring page!*

Like this piece? Please help by hitting the recommend/share below!

My name is Tim. I’m a free-lance writer and I write about startups, travel, and life lessons. Covered at TechZulu, LA Music Blog, and Beacon Reader. @timwut