Grooming

Vermeer

I do like being a woman.

I think when you have done well, it is a really powerful thing.

It helps that often women is being under estimated at first approach especially from men. I remember once walked into a debate preparation in full view to the defence team. The gang of boys looked up momentarily and went back to their strategy in loud versation. When the crowd assembled, to their astonishment, I was the chair of the opposition team, leading three males. We beat them because we were good and we work well as a team. I didn’t have time to communicate my new insights to my team. They followed my lead with full trust. We won fair and square.

I also love the permission women have from everyone to indulge in grooming. Looking beautiful is one of the end product of grooming. The anticipation of planning as prelude. You set the scene, making the time to brush, scrub and soak away the wear and tear of the outside world. Afterwards, feeling anew, you feel ready to be anything you wanted.

Women groom other.

It is something women do, we soothe. We have permission to be bodily tactile without being overtly sexual. We listen and care, without the fear of dependancy from others. We love and encourage to give. In giving, we feel fufilled. Of course, this expecations of women giving is the source of many oppression and injustice. But by giving to our fellow human, we also find joy and fulfilment.Women most times elevate things around them. We are threatening as a gender because of capabilities.

I enjoy being a woman. It feels important and competent. My body, objectified, under threat, but it is extremely amazing to occupy one and to have the responsiblity to take care of it. Even the struggles feel right.

I am a ball of contradictions. I am full of pains and cramps. I am also strong and resilient. I am flexible and agile. I am weak and vulnerable. I am timid and shy. I am a woman.

And, I smell nice and I am soft. Nothing is going to bring me down.

Share some grooming tips?

I don`t do much grooming. I do hygiene, showering and washing hair, moisturising when I feel dry, and the makeup routine I`ve been doing since I was 17. The guy I`m seeing recently asked if I do extravagant makeup sometimes. I don`t.

I find more pleasure in clothing than in makeup. If I were rich, the only thing I would spend a lot of money on apart from culture is fashion. But to be fair, fashion IS culture if you ask me. Haute couture is art, a field of visual arts.

I don`t know whether it`s because in my most influential years, aged 12–14, I used to watch a lot of fashion shows. I was up-to-date on Chanel and Jean-Paul Gaultier (he is still one of my favourites, but I kind of swapped Chanel for Yves Saint Lauren and Vivienne Westwood).

I am aware that fashion is considered to be a female thing, and I find it strange, considering that people who dictate the trends are predominantly gay men. I do not see gay men as feminine. I see the masculinity in camp, but that`s probably a personal kink.

It has always been important to me that men I see privately dress well. This might be superficial. Apparently, being superficial is a feminine trait as well. But that`s just full blown misogyny.

Is there something that you talk about a lot that would surprise men that you know and spend time with?

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