GoT Power Rankings // “The Winds of Winter”
Revenge and consequences are the main themes in “The Winds of Winter,” a finale so jam packed it’s hard to know where to begin. An instant Hall of Famer, this episode may have been the most cinematic GoT has ever done, complete with a symphonic score and artful close ups of emoting faces. Here are this week’s rankings.
1. Daenerys Targaryen
Kahleesi on the move, y’all! In a moment GoT has been building towards literally since the pilot, Dany and her newly formed mega-army end the season sailing to Westeros to claim the Iron Throne. Varys even managed to convince the Sand Snakes (remember them?) AND the Tyrells to join Dany’s cause — mostly because they want revenge on Cersei — but swords are swords. Following Tyrion’s strategic advice, Dany is forced to put Daario squarely in the friend zone, ordering him to stay in Meereen to keep the peace. She later tells Tyrion that while she thought she loved Daario, she felt nothing while sending him away, perhaps revealing herself to be an emotionless shell of a person. But who needs emotions when you have an unholy alliance of horse gods, fire witches and dragons? Whoever makes crowns might wanna start sizing up Kahleesi’s head.
2. Jon Snow
Considering the season began with Jon dead and the internet having an existential crisis about it, ending it as King of the North is a comeback the Cleveland Cavaliers could appreciate. Jon understandably starts the episode in a less than ideal headspace, reminiscing about being excluded from Stark family dinners and telling Sansa he’s not worthy of leading the North. With a little help from precocious little Lady Marmont, Jon gains the support of all the Northern houses, unanimously naming him as their King. But that wasn’t even the biggest development in Jon’s life. Bran’s flashbacks all but confirmed the notorious fan theory R+L=J, meaning Jon has both Stark and Targaryen blood in him. Only Bran knows for now, but once this tidbit of info comes to light it’s sure to have wide-reaching consequences.
3. Arya Stark
Finally back in Westeros after a semester at face-swapping assassin school, Arya wastes no time making her presence known. She manages to pull off arguably the most gruesome revenge plot in the show’s history, disguising herself to feed Walder Fray a pie made of his own children (aka the reverse Scott Tenorman) before she reveals her true identity and gleefully ends his life. Arya has come a long way from the spunky tween who began the series, and she now has the tools and mindset necessary to continue checking names off her list.
4. Cersei Lannister
Good luck to the people of the Seven Kingdoms for as long as she sits on the Iron Throne, cause this woman has lost her mind. Admittedly backed into a corner, the Queen Mother carries out the less than diplomatic scheme of blowing up the Sept of Bailor with wildfire and killing everyone inside, including Queen Margaery and the High Sparrow. Cersei even smiles and sips wine as she watches them burn. Tommen, not quite as satisfied by this mass murder, plummets to his death after jumping out a window, unable to live in a world where his mother would kill his wife. Sure, Cersei is now the Queen, but was it worth the deaths of all your children and being so insane your own brother/boyfriend is scared of you? She’s even turned Varys’ flock of Little Birds into cold-hearted murderers. Not to mention the vengeful nightmare she’s created for poor Septa Unella. Short live the Queen.
5. Tyrion Lannister
Anyone else feel like a proud parent watching their wayward child finally find his place in the world? Tyrion has spent most of the series in various brothels all over the kingdoms, but it seems he’s finally found his purpose in life: aiding Dany’s quest for the Iron Throne. Tyrion sincerely believes in (and maybe loves) Daenerys and she rewards this faith by naming him Hand of the Queen. Now they just have to, ya know, actually take over the throne, otherwise Tyrion is just a dude with a weird brooch.
Dead Last: Everybody Else
Pour one out for sweet Queen Margaery, who realized Cersei’s diabolical plan and tried to save hundreds of lives. Plus dumb Tommen, who never really had a chance. And Olenna Tyrell, whose entire family has been wiped out by the Lannisters. Conversely, raise a middle finger for the High Sparrow, whose hubris in both not believing Margaery and not thinking Cersei could best him led to a mass death. Then there’s Melisandre, revealed to Jon as a child murderer by Davos and banished from the North. And, of course, Septa Unella, forced to spend the rest of her life being water boarded by Cersei’s wine and used as the Mountain’s sexual plaything. In a show known for gruesome destinies, this episode liberally spreads the misery and death around to all corners of the world. Happy Monday, everyone!
(Dis)honorable mentions.
Sam. He’s granted access to his personal Disney World, the libraries at Maester Academy.
Davos. Dude’s waited years to unleash on Melsiander like that. Must’ve felt good, man.
Grand Master Pycelle. Was rude to prostitutes till his dying day.
Daario. Poor guy. Who hasn’t been dumped via request to rule a city?
Bronn. He 100 percent had a threesome with those girls, right?
Queen of Thorns. Totally unimpressed with the Sand Snakes.
