WELL-BEING
It's Okay to Change Your Mind
It’s okay to change your name, move to a new city, and be a brand new bitch.
It's okay to change your mind. I saw this message in an Instagram post as I sat in an airport the other day, in the throes of actively changing my mind. I breathed deeply through my mask, taking the meme as a sign from the digital heavens that I was indeed doing the right thing. I smiled behind the three plies of Covid protection and put the phone back into my carry-on. In just two short hours, I'd be on my way to one thing and away from another.
A day later, as I settled into my final destination, I opened Twitter to see the same message from a different account. It's okay to change your mind. The universe is trying to tell me something. Even as I type this, Betty Carter sings Movin' On, a song Apple Music randomly chose for me. Man, that woman could scat.
I'm always changing my mind––about myself, my work, my men. When most people are comforted by sameness, stagnation starts to make me uneasy after a while, especially when I can see room for improvement. I'm always in pursuit of better — a better house, car, body, personal and professional opportunities, relationships with myself and others. Life has so much to offer, and I am deathly afraid of settling and staying stuck. So, I change my mind fairly often, and each time I do, it scares me.
It's okay to change your mind. It's the message that keeps popping up in my energetic forcefield and a message I wanted to share, just in case you've been feeling stuck or exhausted by a decision you made before today. Maybe when you made that decision, you didn't have the information you have now. Or, perhaps you did but didn't understand it the way you do today. Maybe you were young and foolish. Maybe you were old and proud. Perhaps you were neither or all of these things and confused by how the world doesn't stop spinning to give you time and space to make the best decisions sometimes. Whatever the reason, and even if there is no reason at all, it's okay to change your mind.
You don't owe anyone anything, and no one can be happy around you if you're not happy with yourself. Do something wild. Do the thing that scares you the most. Or, stop doing things that scare you and just be for a while. Maybe you've had enough thrills. Perhaps you're tired of flying by the seat of your pants, and it's time to settle for a while to think, re-evaluate, and re-group. Whatever it is, you know what you need though you often fight it. You know when you need to be alone, yet, you consistently invite people into your space. You know when you need quiet, yet, you answer the phone every time it rings instead of turning off your ringer and ignoring the world for a while.
"Well, what if someone needs me?"
Honey, what if you need you?
It's okay to change your mind.
It's okay to wake up and be someone different. It's okay to change your name, move to a new city, and be a brand new bitch. It's okay to leave your stressful job and instead do the sort of work that will make you happy and proud. It's okay to leave your spouse and be alone for a while, to travel alone, to fall in love with yourself in a way you never have, and not explain anything to anyone. It's okay to put your oxygen mask on first. In fact, it's recommended. It doesn't matter what people think. It doesn't matter what they say. All that matters right now is that you're happy. Accomplish that, and the people in your life, the ones who love you, will be happy for you.
So, go.
Change your mind today and apologize for none of it.
I know I have.
