I listened to clients hold on to men out of fear and shame, insisting their worth is tethered to their ability to “keep a man.” — One of the most valuable skills I picked up early in my life is how to leave. Of all the things my mother did wrong, one of the few things she did right was showing me how to walk away from people, places, and ideals even and especially after holding…

One by one, I ended several of my longstanding friendships. Here’s why I did it, and maybe you should, too. — Over the past year, I have ended nearly all of my friendships and done so with no regrets. I’d been tolerating one-sided relationships for many years, trying to fix them, and giving them entirely too much space in my life, hoping my buddies would grow and change as individuals and…

Look at yourself — still breathing, still living, still inching forward because everything you have lost isn’t a loss. — Over the past year and a half, I have lost a lot, but not more than I have given up or that has been taken from me. I have ended twenty-year friendships and finally left my partner of five years. After living in Los Angeles for over twenty years, I…

Your happiness, in and out of your relationships, is literally a matter of life and death. Choose wisely. — I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but your relationship is going to end. No matter how many years you’ve been together or how many children you have, whether you’re married, engaged, or just consciously coupled, your relationship as you know it will cease to exist…

Make a concerted effort to stop doing the same thing you’ve always done under the guise of doing it better, and instead, do something different. — I’ve been blowing up sections of my life every six months for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, this was less of a tactic for growth and more of series of fuck-ups that only made my life messier. Now in my forties, and for the past…

If you’re an anxious person, either before or since the pandemic, this may help you move forward. — Over the past year, my family and I have been through quite a bit, but nothing as devastating as others have experienced since the onset of the pandemic. Though we lost a lot, we gained much more and managed to thrive through the shenanigans that come with doing our best…

Take baby-steps toward an improved version of yourself and don’t be disappointed when you backstep. It’s to be expected. — When I was younger, sometime in my early twenties, I had a habit of replying, “This is the way I am,” anytime someone complained about my insensitivity, lack of empathy, or straight-up rudeness. To my young, inexperienced brain, the way things and people were was the way they’d always be…

When you feel like all hope is lost and you just can’t do it, consider this. — I spent last weekend the way I will spend this weekend — coaching clients. Each of them is a woman with her sights set on being a better version of herself but has a hard time seeing how to get there. That’s where I come in. I’m a tough-love coach…

What has gone is never coming back, which makes this the perfect time to ditch being better for being different. — With or without the devastating changes that come with living through a pandemic, one of the mistakes we make consistently throughout our lives is trying to be who we are in this moment when we’re in the next. Many of us are actively trying to be better than we were…