Finding my bug
Am I a runner?
Hello,
I’m Toby, a happy go-lucky kind of guy. I love sport, I love people and I hate celery. I don’t really know what I want to do with my life. Do I care? Well at the moment, not really no. That wasn’t a very ‘running’ intro was it? Well I guess I’m a runner but truth be told I don’t do this whole ‘running’ thing very well. I’ve always been involved in the running scene; I race, I train, I eat LOTS, I still don’t know what to do with my running medals and my foam roller is my most trusty assistant… you get the jist. But, from my viewpoint I have a different relationship with running to many others.
Running is a personal thing for me, it is for my own benefit and something that has been a big part of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love catching-up with friends on a jog or tailing the fast guys in a session all red faced after each rep, but growing up in the countryside I have grown to love running on my own. This independence has led to me discovering so much about myself and my surroundings. I know my valley like the back of my hand and know each hill like an old friend.
That’s another love of mine: hills. Can’t get enough of ’em. The views, the challenge, the objective. I choose routes with hills in mind, working out which one to conquer first. Arriving at University I wasn’t used to running with others and it’s something that I still haven’t adapted to. It’s weird though, I love interacting with people so you’d think the two: running and people, would correlate in my head? Nope, not for me. This made my decision to run the flat, all-tarmac London Marathon on October 3rd 2021, surrounded by 50,000 runners with so many more watching, really rather strange.
Why?
I was lucky enough to gain an entry to the Virgin London Marathon in February this year through a club ballot. At first I wasn’t going to do it, I’m 20, always injured and am going on placement… it sounded like a faff and quite frankly I just don’t really run anymore. I was sick of the seemingly never-ending cycle of running for 4 weeks before a new injury cropped up putting me back to square one. I’d had conversations saying ‘I might just sack it off’ and I guess I kind of did. For months I didn’t run, my housemate gave me a proper introduction to the gym and I was warming to it more and more by the day. My life felt easier, stress free and for the first time in a while I felt on top of things. I didn’t feel a pressure to run, I could just enjoy my sport again. But, for whatever reason I accepted the entry. It had a pull. I wanted the running bug back and before I knew it, it was time to run.
On June 7th I joined the lovely people at Byrd to kickstart my placement year. If you’re reading this you’ve probably heard of Byrd, but if you haven’t, in short we’re a start-up product with the aim of encouraging everyday running in everyday runners. We put the runner first, removing the competitiveness, making each run something to celebrate.
I remember my first day, all I wanted to do was try out the product but of course I was injured, struggling to run even 20 minutes before pulling up and walking home. It was the conversations I had with the team at Byrd that put my running journey on the right track. I listened to my physio, I started stretching routinely and with time I started running. Getting started was a lot easier than I had anticipated. With the help of both my girlfriend and Byrd I had the fundamentals to start my training. Goal set, training planned, now all I needed to do was run!
Let’s give this running thing a go.
I started my training block 12 weeks out from the London Marathon. It was fun, I had a goal in mind and was happy running. The 12 weeks were quite the rollercoaster; niggles, illness, events all getting in the way along with the exhaustion and extreme desire to sleep. I had many days where all I wanted to do was run, I had races where I did so much better than anticipated and I had low points where I just didn’t want to get out the door. It was normal. We all experience different highs and lows in running. For me though, I did notice a change.
My role at Byrd was labelled as ‘Social Media and Community Manager’ — a bit fancy I know. Essentially, I got to interact with many like minded runners, helping me to speak and breathe running. I loved it and it was this that refuelled my love for running. I woke up excited to see what people had got up to, see who our new followers were and it made me appreciate my running even more. I have a love-hate relationship with Social Media but this role truly highlighted how amazing it can be. Hearing of people’s stories and how running saved them was truly captivating. With time, I learnt so much about the running world, I tuned into live races, I watched event highlights, I learnt of challenges across the UK and got engrossed in the words adventure, resilience and journey. Who knew the legacy of a fella named ‘Bob’ would have created such a courageous and mesmerizing challenge of scaling over 30 mountains across the Lake District all within a time limit. Crazy.
This rediscovered love for running made the journey all the more thrilling. I am still to this day so grateful to Byrd for the ability to be able to run whenever I wished, helping me to fit training in even on the busiest of days. And in truth, it made my role even more enjoyable. I could spend the early hours getting motivated by people’s morning running stories and then spend the afternoon motivating others. Each run felt like there was purpose, one step closer to marathon day and yet one step further from the injury-ridden, monotonous bimbles I used to endure. I was seeing progress, my long runs were getting LONG, I was doing well in races, gaining spontaneous PB’s and the best of all: I looked forward to the next day of running! The running bug was back, and I loved it.
It was so refreshing to see people have the same mindset towards running as myself. They ran because it gave them a sense of internal victory, a time to themselves and a time to enjoy nature. Having a performance background led me to believe everyone was obsessed with times, segments and being the fastest; essentially everyone wanted to be the Alpha. But, refreshingly, I soon realised this wasn’t the case! Don’t get me wrong, seeing improvement is great, but once this obsession gets in the way of your enjoyment what is the point? I joined running for the feeling it gave me, not for the stress of hitting certain accreditations. It told me to make memories, not suffer in misery! This mindset was what made my marathon day even greater.
Marathon day.
Oh what a day it was. Was it nerves or excitement I was feeling? Whatever it was, I just wanted to get going, smash it out the park. I started well… a little too well. I saw my loved ones; I was flying! 2:50 was on the cards. It was too good to be true. Tower bridge was approaching; the sound barrier was broken in an eruption of cheers, screams and music. I was lifted so high, cruising through, soaking it up. That’s where it started to go wrong. Over the bridge and I was suddenly zapped. Overcooked it. Silly boy. Runners passed me, one by one. I took on a gel, got a bit of momentum but the distance markers were getting further apart, just out of reach. Grind it out Toby, one foot in front of the other. 25km. 30km. Ouch. 32km — okay 10km to go. ‘That’s easy’… Those famous last words. It wasn’t easy. My body stopped working. Smack, straight into that dreaded ‘wall’. My legs went static, knees not buckling. Tennis balls appeared in my hamstrings and my body screamed at me to stop.
I didn’t stop. I scrambled, tip-toed, plodded. Cramp happened again. It really had it out for me. Water, food, everything I could grab I devoured. The pain was like no other but I couldn’t stop smiling because I knew nothing was going to stop me reaching that finish line. I saw my loved ones, an extra shining light making the finish even more desirable. They ran with me, separated only by metal barriers. Weaving in and out of other spectators, tossing them aside. Truth be told, I couldn’t keep up and I was the one doing the race! ‘Come on Toby, you’re so close’. ‘Run with us, keep going, you’ve got this’. Do it for them I thought. Just keep going. Move those legs even if you do look like a flamboyant cheesestring.
1km to go. Runners were dropping like flies. Some couldn’t get back up, some looked like they’d just begun the run. 600m, 400m. I saw a friend, smile and wave Toby. Keep going. 385 yards. Huffing and puffing I was gonna get there even if I had to crawl. I crossed the finish line. Elated. Medal around my neck and a huge smile to match it. The self pride was unscalable. I did it!
It didn’t really go to plan.
You see I made many mistakes during this race: I was wearing old shoes, set off too fast, didn’t practise using gels, arrived too late, socks had holes in, forgot kit, went to bed too late, ran too close to race day… I could write a whole blog about them but matter of fact I’m glad I made them! I learnt. Over a week before I was bed-ridden not even able to lift my head up from the pillow with illness. I didn’t hit all my training and didn’t hit my totals. But it was all these factors that make me even more proud to say that I got over that finish line. I learnt about myself, I learnt how incredible the human body is and I learnt all about the power of support! I learnt the event was extraordinary, the masses were magnificent and how much of a privilege it was to be a part of all the camaraderie.
Yes the pain was excruciating, cramp was constantly on the horizon and I slowed to the pace of a snail but London has put a smile on my face for the longhaul, and I’m still in pure disbelief that somehow I finished. I didn’t achieve my goal of sub-3 but in hindsight that wasn’t my real goal. The real goal was to complete it and that is what I did… even if it was a bit messy!
So it’s a funny one really. Yes I completed my marathon. Time, 3:18 and I’m still buzzing about it. The emotion; excitement, nerves, pride, pain, admiration, envy, truly made it the full package. The support was electric, the feeling was ecstatic and I am emphatic that I will do another marathon one day. Sharing this journey with the running community has been special and something I hope I will continue to do in the future. However, for now I have found my victory, I ran a marathon but most importantly I have fallen in love with running all over again.
Here’s to the next beginning.
