Climbing the Oude Kwaremont in Ronde Van Vlaanderen 2016
April the 2nd 2016, it’s cold but not freezing when I start the most exciting experience of my life. But bicycle, not more.
Can I be completely sincere with you, people? Tour the Flanders was never my cup of tea. At the end of the day the Monuments are, more or less, all breathtaking. Ok, Milano-Sanremo is one of the most boring things after shaving your own legs when the time of short bibs comes, but, the others, are really sharp, like that blade used for spring cleanings. My favourite one is l’Enfer du Nord, but come on, also the Ronde Van Vlaanderen fascinates me with its unforgettable winners (Roger De Vlaeminck, Johan Museuw, Alessandro Ballan and those two the you don’t even need to nominate), the cobblestones and the scareful walls.
Well, Ronde Van Vlaanderen is exactly the race that I need to be the beginning of the season, because I want to smell the cobblestones of that hills and drink beers at the end of a long day riding with other 16k participants.
Not only myself participates to the race, also Donato “Indiefake” reached me from Bologna, yes, that Donato, the one who baptizes his bikes with contemporary cyclists names.
I’m still alone, well alone with my Yellow Hammer, on the train when I start talking with anybody there. Because in Flanders region people smell cycling as in Germany they do with Bratwurst and in Sicily with Panelle e Meusa: cycling in that area is really a huge part of their culture, that’s why they are so interested in asking me if in Italy it’s already the time of short sleeves or if there’s still snow on Passo Sella (boh!?)
Same electric atmosphere during the Oudenarde night. No, just kidding: 9pm everybody is sleeping and restaurants are already closing, so Donato and me (yes, he finally arrived) are heading to a cheesy pizzeria to have our dinner. Obviously also here everybody is talking about De Ronde, especially those two guys from Zurich who continue scaring us: ”if it doesn’t rain we are in safe. Last year was a nightmare: I got 5 flats then I gave up, and Karl finished the race but only after 11 hours”. “Thank you and enjoy your way back to the boring Zurich guys!”
It’s time to go to bed but only after pasting the walls stickers on the tube and set up all devices. Yes, I was a bit nervous and still don’t understand why Donato didn’t push a mask on my eyes, and on my mouth, and put me to sleep.
Ok it’s already morning, I slept 5 hours and I feel powerful and pimped as Bjarne Riis calves. The weather is sweet, we are testing it yelling “it’s time for spring apparel” waking up the two English guys who are still trying to sleep. Ok, wearing shorts could be fine, but short sleeve are a bit too arrogant for the norther european sunrise. Nah, on the top part of my body I prefer to add arm warmers and windproof jacket. Everything is Rapha Core, because I care to use the English gears just arrived in the market (and in my closet).
Let’s ride our bikes and move to the starting point that we obviously miss doing something like 10kms more. But it’s ok, it’s kind of a warm up, isn’t it?
We ride comfortably between tarmac and narrow cycling lanes. It look like a quiet day, so straight after an hour I decide to get rid of jacket and arm warmers, taking advantage of my sun glasses against the pale sun. First climb and two cobble sectors but still nothing like the first remarkable point: Molenberg, a pavè climb of 700m with picks of 14,2% dropping. Not so many problems, we are still at the beginning, that’s why you can still see all those damned Mountain Bikers.
We arrived to the first stop with breakfast included: bananas, frozen isotonic drinks and the amazing Honingkoek, yes the one I discovered in Berlin thanks to my friend Jon. During this stop I recognize why the Norther-European people are examples of civilization: standing plastic pissoirs to avoid uncomfortable queues outside toilet boxes. Thanks Belgium, really, for bicycles, beers and outside standing toilette.
“Come on, let’s carry on”, these are Donato’s words. Yes, actually I can be annoying while I’m riding with my Instagram and Twitter activities. But it’s time to stretch legs: Haaghoek, some cobblestoned downhill and then you can hear the Koppenberg’s breath. It’s there, challenging you. Donato flights like a devil and I get stuck between the crowd and I’m forced to walk. “Dammit, we are really too many” I’m shouting while the National TV wants to interview me: “Do you feel safe after last weeks attacks at the Airport?”. “Yes, it’s very secure, apart from this wetty pavè, obviously!”
Finally I arrive on the top of the hill and Donato wants to take a picture of me walking “Don’t even try!” I coldly whisper. Solidly on our drops we come down from the Koppenberg facing quickly Taienberg and Kanarenberg, not so famous but tough stuff.
There is a guy we always overtake, he is Spanish and was used to call us: “Rapha Brothers!” Ehm, we have the possibility to know each other better during one of the stops: “cool down Rapha Brothers. If you overdo here, you would not have enough gas to go through the last two monsters”.
The two monsters, I can see them: Oude Kwaremont and Paterberg, but it’s still early. In the meanwhile Donato takes a bit of time to jerk me around: “If I knew I had to wait for you all this time, I would take another day of vacation”, says while is running on front. I suck his wheel on Kruisberg and Karnemelkbeekstraat, more easy to climb than to spell, I swear. Then here we are, we can see that famous old house where Fabian Cancellara is used to spin standing out all the opponent. But there is no Fabian now, just you and those cobblestones sloped as hell. Standing and climbing is not a good idea, it’s to slippery. Nah the solution is sitting, squeeze the drop and push your legs off, that’s the only way to overcome the Oude Kwaremont. Emotional, that’s for sure the most emotional cycling moment of my life. It’s done, I’m done. Almost crying pushing and talking with a girl who was my companion during the climb “You are great” “Never, never greater then you are!” Just then I see Donato again and slapping my shoulder manifesting his beer needs. Yes, he is right, but still something is missing to finish the Ronde. Straightaway, after the Oude Kwaremont, I find a cool downhill then some flat meters. But straight after it, you should turn right and ride Monsieur Paterberg. Well, I turned right but, don’t knowing the track, I discovered myself on a 20% climb with a 50/13 ratio. I need to walk. Again. For the second time, but now I also scratched my Yellow Hammer. Dammit. I take my time walking on the slope, chatting with everybody, drinking a Redbull and taking pictures. Donato is really mad: “No way man. Really, I have been waiting you here for 20 minutes”. I need to be forgiven so I face the wind for the last 15kms, we complete those in about 20 minutes and then we arrive to the finish line. Pictures, high fives.
We got it. Now it’s time to get our prizes, have a shower and drink some drafted, golden, frozen Kwaremont.
Oh Wait!
