Week 11 Preview

Ataraxia
California Distance Fantasy Football 2014–15
3 min readNov 15, 2014

Hello fantasy football fans. I hope you enjoyed my weekly preview last week; I hope that it fulfilled your free reading time with insightful tidbits for fantasy viewing; I hope this week’s preview lives up to the great tradition of last week’s preview. Here goes!

Game of the Week

Balls in Lace (7–3, 903) @ King Breesus (7–3, 917)

Bob you need to start caring about this leg enough to set people in your line-up. I will steal money from you on VenMo if you do not set your line-up; I will impose fines and hide the things in your apartment so that you can’t find them. I will let my cat poop in your apartment.

I think JP is in Tahoe training to be a professional runner so I bet he just reads my blog all day and practices setting up his line-up. I think starting any Browns RB is a good decision.

Prediction: JP 114 — Bob 90

Trim My Balls (1–9, 546) @ RSF Hairy Muffins (8–2, 1078)

Why is this game being played? It appears that John has a slight advantage in the FLEX position but I don’t think that will save him from Matt’s highest-in-league scoring.

Prediction: Matt 124 — John 55

Thomas Sucks Balls (3–7, 830) @ Norton Hears A Who (3–7, 872)

Because for some reason Evan decided to put 8 teams in the playoffs, this game somehow matters in the grand scheme of the season. Both of these miserable squads should be relegated to California Distance B at the end of the season, but alas, our current fascist league manager Mr. Malone-White imposes this strange playoff format.

Prediction: Max 96—Bland 92

Hoagie Sucks A Lot (6–4, 1005) @ ShowMe TheTD’s (6–4, 966)

This will be a good one! Two of the highest scoring teams in the league—and currently playoff-bound (projected)—will duke it out in a high-scoring pointsfest. They both have stud QBs, but I see Luck running into more issues against a strong New Endgland D than Manning against the Rams. Ultimately, I think that Ned might be better off looking to replace Bobby Rainey (who is he) before heading into this match-up… ESPN has Alfred Blue racking up 18 in Arian Foster’s absence.

I can’t ignore the fact that a Josh Lewis loss puts me in a much better position for the playoffs, so I hope that he gets crushed.

Prediction: Ned 131—Josh 95

Government Pot (5–5, 906) @ Graham Crackers (4–6, 775)

I’m going to ignore the fact that Evan beating me will put us in tie in the Bitches division and potentially hand him the tiebreaker (I don’t know if we played earlier this season). I will instead focus on the fact that Evan has only accumulated 775 points this year, ahead of only John (546). Evan has been unable to put together a high-scoring system and relies primarily on Jimmy Graham—if he has 3 TDs, I will probably lose. Elsewise, Frank Gore and Steven Jackson will be insufficient to overtake my number 3 spot in the division.

FIN

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