Stoned Sober
High Time for Marijuana-Assisted Sobriety
Smash the Stigma of “California Sober” in the “Recovery Community” and Among Mental Health Professionals
I first tried to get sober, from alcohol (which should not need to be said), in 2009. I immediately stopped crack, and except for one weekend in 2012, cocaine as well. That began a string of periods of total abstinence from all “mind- and mood-altering chemicals,” including alcohol and marijuana, but not tobacco, caffeine, or sugar.
I always relapsed on alcohol. I was sober for six months and relapsed. Then another six months, and relapsed. Then four months clean and sober, then a six-month outpatient program, which I dropped out of because I relapsed. Then a 30-day dual diagnosis mental hospital (I have bipolar I disorder), another six-month outpatient program, and another relapse.
I was called a “chronic relapser” by a few members of my home group at Narcotics Anonymous. I finally got long sobriety (for me) of two years and four months. The first 14 months of that was in an inpatient facility for dual diagnosis (after another thirty-day rehab in the mental hospital), so I lasted 14 more months in the “real world.” I had more periods of one week and one month.
With two years and four months sober, I walked out of my daily NA meeting (I lived literally next door to a daily meeting room), called my sponsor, and went out to get a steak and red wine. That led to a two-year relapse. During that time, I tried Medication-Assisted Treatment in the traditional sense, and that was entirely unsuccessful. Psychiatry, psychology, clinical social work, cognitive behavioral therapy, and group therapy all failed.
I had given up on the Twelve Steps since I felt “hopelessly incapable of being honest with myself.” Now, I have almost four years since my last drink, thanks to my medical marijuana combined with the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I meet with a group of like-minded friends that I met online.
Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT) has been around for a long time. The government uses FDA-approved prescription medications as substitutes, such as Methadone and Suboxone for opioid use disorder (including both prescription medications containing opiates and heroin). There is a Medication-Assisted Recovery Anonymous (MARA), a twelve-step program for people who practice MAT.
Acamprosate, disulfiram, and naltrexone are the most common medications used to treat alcohol use disorder and the only drugs approved by the FDA for the “treatment” of alcohol use disorder. They do not provide a cure for the illness. I personally question their efficacy. During my last, lengthy relapse, I had to ask to be prescribed acamprosate, to assist me in drinking in moderation. You are specifically supposed to ingest before you to the bar, where I would get drunk while on it. Many times. So much for that.
Naltrexone (Revia) is acknowledged to be less effective than Acamprosate. I never tried it personally because none of my psychiatrists prescribed it to me. According to Wikipedia: “The Sinclair method uses opiate antagonists such as naltrexone to treat alcoholism. The person takes the medication once, about an hour before drinking, to avoid side effects that arise from chronic use. The opioid antagonist is thought to block the positive-reinforcement effects of alcohol and may assist the person in stopping or reducing drinking.” It works similarly to Acamprosate, only less effective, so I think that’s why I was given only the one and not the other.
When I first got sober, I had to ask my psychiatrist for a month’s supply of disulfiram, more commonly known as Antabuse. I was fortunate to make it a month without smelling any alcohol. The pill does not make your urge for alcohol go away, except through some kind of negative Pavlovian response (drawing a link between alcohol consumption and a pain response). Wikipedia reads: “Disulfiram works by inhibiting the enzyme acetaldehyde dehydrogenase, causing many of the effects of a hangover to be felt immediately following alcohol consumption.”
“Disulfiram plus alcohol, even small amounts, produces flushing, throbbing in the head and neck, a throbbing headache, respiratory difficulty, nausea, copious vomiting, sweating, thirst, chest pain, palpitation, dyspnea, hyperventilation, fast heart rate, low blood pressure, fainting, marked uneasiness, weakness, vertigo, blurred vision, and confusion. In severe reactions, there may be respiratory depression, cardiovascular collapse, abnormal heart rhythms, heart attack, acute congestive heart failure, unconsciousness, convulsions, and death.” I personally think giving the medication with this risk profile to an alcoholic with a high risk of relapse is like playing Russian Roulette with the patient’s health or life.
One study found with the Sinclair Method that, in general, all three are barely adequate, if at all over a placebo. I make it simpler. From experience, these just do not work. On the other hand, there have been a series of recent publications. The movement for California Sober — using marijuana for opioids, benzodiazepine, and alcohol and tobacco substitutes is a valid, proven path for many people. Reviewing the literature is worth another article, so I wrote that.
I “went back to resume experimenting on myself” for two years. By September 2017, I had literally fallen on my face on the curb and broke three teeth walking home from a bar. Another time, I took Uber to and from a sports bar and ordered food and drinks there. I do not remember a thing about that evening to this day. I had moved to Tampa to take care of my mom. I needed — at least to be sober for her. So, desperate, I hauled my ass back to my seat at AA.
I met a great sponsor who was very understanding. I relapsed over the holidays at the end of 2017. I resumed my sobriety on January 4, 2018, and have not had a drink of alcohol since then. Nearly four years is a personal record and approaches two times my last record. Here’s what happened differently this time. I applied for my Florida Medical Marijuana card in early 2018. I soon learned that five hits in short order from a THC vape pen would knock my cravings for alcohol right out. I might have the munchies and/or fall asleep early. But I don’t drink. That’s all that matters to me.
My sponsor understood AA history and was well-versed in it. In fact, we used the First Edition of the Big Book to work on the Twelve Steps. He also took psych meds for depression. There was a time when old-timers in the AA rooms would say not to take psych meds, that it resulted from your alcoholism, and you should just work the steps. As a result of several people in AA quitting all “mind and mood-altering substances,” not just alcohol, several people in AA stopped their anti-depressants and committed suicide. In response, AA issued a pamphlet warning against sponsors playing doctor without a license. Medication is an “outside issue” in recovery between a patient and doctor.
But if that medication is medical marijuana, AA still follows the old rule. AA is about “alcohol.” The First Step states, “We were powerless over alcohol, and our lives had become unmanageable.” The Traditions say that the purpose of AA is to help the suffering alcoholic. Yet, somehow AAers have created a new definition of the word “sober.” The word “sober” is in the dictionary and is basically defined as not drunk. Some AAers use the ridiculous term: “alcohol in solid form,” meaning drugs. When I think of alcohol in solid form, I think of ice made from beer.
The word “marijuana” does not appear in AA’s introductory text, the Big Book. People share all the time in meetings that: “I smoked a joint at a party, so I had to take a white chip” and a new “sober date.” Nobody rejects this, even though it is contrary to AA. Bill W., one of the founders of AA, dropped acid. He was looking to have a “spiritual experience” that would help him stay sober. Nobody says he lost his clean date.
Heaven forbid I reveal my truth. My history makes clear. I did not stay sober despite smoking weed; I am sober BECAUSE I smoke weed. Two dabs from my Puffco Peak Pro (which is nothing like an old bong) works to curb any craving I have. If I were to say at an AA meeting that the Twelve Steps and weed combination keeps me sober, I would be shunned and denied all service positions. They would just as soon prefer that I go elsewhere. This despite them decrying “contempt prior to investigation,” emphasizing “rigorous honesty” and “doing whatever is necessary to stay sober.” They practice none of these principles when it comes to weed.
During the pandemic, many of us had to go online to find support and meetings. I have found that MARA discussed above is one such place. There is also a Facebook group for “Stoned Sober” that works as a discussion forum. There is another called “California Sober” and another called GRASS: Green Recovery and Sobriety Support, which like MARA, holds Zoom meetings. There are more if you search. In other words, AAers are leaving the group in droves because they use medical marijuana for a variety of ailments or to just stay sober, and they are tired of being lectured in AA, or made to feel uncomfortable.
In summary, it’s high time to recognize that science has proven that marijuana can help people stay clean and sober from more risky substances. Medical Marijuana is legal in most states. I live in Massachusetts, which also has legal recreational use. More and more people, as evidenced by the groups forming for people who use weed and are sober. The government, which sets the tone for most mental health professionals, does not recognize the value of marijuana for some people. I have been fortunate to find therapists and psychiatrists who understand why I use marijuana. But they are in the minority. The so-called “recovery community” is more concerned with defining sobriety than helping people who just got sober but smoke weed. If they cannot adjust to new circumstances, the Twelve Step programs and behavioral health practitioners are at risk of losing people.
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