California Sober
Psyched for a Fun Halloween Day Without Alcohol!
Halloween Can Be a Harsh Holiday for Addicts, Here’s My Solution
A friend I met in MARA and I were having a discussion on Friday, and we talked about how Halloween used to be the biggest party of the year for us.
Jerry Garcia Band played a concert on October 31, 1986, at the Henry J. Kaiser Convention Center in Oakland. Warren Zevon’s song, “Werewolves of London,” was the encore. I had just gone to my first Grateful Dead show that February. The opening band was Bob Weir and Kingfish. It was a double-whammy Grateful Dead divided show. I dropped acid, drank whiskey, snorted cocaine, and lost my mind. Was it a bad day? Not that I remember. Don’t ask me if I remember what I was wearing.
But then again, who doesn’t have foggy memories of a Halloween 35 years ago? As someone with severe alcohol and drug use disorder, Halloween for me had become one long debauchery. The opportunity to wear a costume and get plastered! Every year, year in and year out, I got hammered. I reached my lowest bottom on Halloween 2009 in New Orleans, again going to concerts and getting high and drunk on anything I could get my hands on. Twenty-three years of getting hammered and going to concerts. That’s a lot to put behind me.
How did I put this behind me? I’m not sure, but I did. Jerry Garcia died of drug-use-related complications. Old man Bobby Weir is up on stage tonight. He’s been written up in Men’s Health for his workout regimen. 72 years old and still putting out three-hour shows. I could not even stand that long anymore. And I can’t do the drugs I used to do. I indeed cannot drink.
I am staying home for Halloween, and my wife and our black cat Fluffy are invited. First, I have “waked and baked.” I enjoyed some Puerto Rican double espressos, some sugar-free red bulls, and some indica. I am writing this story, and the Dead & Co’s show from last night at the Hollywood Bowl is on TV and playing in my earphones. Fluffy has already been on my lap today.
Besides the Patriots game, we are only watching Dead & Co’s show from Hollywood at 10 pm tonight or watching Halloween movies. I will be wearing my “Cuddlebear” costume. Lisa will be wearing her pink rainbow care bear outfit. Fluffy will be a long-haired black cat, which she is every day. We do not believe in making our cat play dress up.
Oh, and candy. We bought a few bags this week. We have them out.
This is what Halloween looks like at our house. Have you ever watched children closely? They run around with big smiles on their faces over some candy and some costumes. No drugs or alcohol. So that’s what I have, and I have a half-ounce of weed too. Weed is my medicine. I am going to smoke a lot of it today.
So, please join me. Grab your costume. Grab your candy. Watch Halloween movies. I prefer the cartoon ones, not the scary ones. Scary movies do not make me happy. They make me anxious. I need to avoid things that make me uneasy. You can even watch the concert with me online. It’s available on nugs.
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