Reframing: Creating Breakthroughs in Conversations
Have you ever been in a meeting when someone completely changed the direction of the conversation with one short statement? That is reframing. And that is a moment of leadership.
The real question is how do they do that? And perhaps more importantly, how do you get consistently good at reframing?
Here are a few tips to becoming consistently adept at reframing:
1. Listen to what is not being said. So often we get caught up in the content of the conversation that we miss the silence in the spaces between the words. Leaders who are good at reframing listen equally to where people are silent, what is not being talked about, and what topics people are avoiding. They gently bring the unsaid into the discussion.
2. Look for paradoxes. People often get stuck in an either/or mentality, struggling between two alternatives. Either/or can also be construed as win/lose alternatives. Recognizing the legitimacy of multiple imperatives opens the door to what Carl Jung described as a “third way” — an additional alternative that unites and transcends two options. Reframing from an either/or to a both/and perspective merges the tension between two seemingly opposing alternatives and unleashes new possibilities and moves the conversation from the win/lose scenarios.
3. Pay attention to language. Words are not just how we communicate; they subtly create a whole context of understanding. Sometimes, intentionally asking people to change a word can transform a whole discussion. For example, in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, nurses were being sent a slew of resources on resilience. Many nurses heard this information as a call to do more — be resilient in addition to everything else they were doing. Changing the messaging from “increasing your resilience” to “supporting your well-being” transformed the information from another thing to do to an offer of self-kindness and caring.
4. Imagine new metaphors. Metaphors help us to make sense of the world. But at the same time, they can constrain our understanding of the situation. For example, changing our mental model of organizations from machines to complex adaptive systems offered a deeper appreciation for the intricacies of human interactions that make healthcare work. Reimagining a new visual description that more aptly describes the situation can, in a phrase, create a whole new clarity.
Reframing is particularly useful when people are feeling stuck and frustrated or when they are having circular conversations. At those moments, attending to both what is being said and how it is being said, or not said, is the key to masterfully reframing. Listening differently unlocks the insights into how to reframe and creates breakthroughs in the discussion.
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” — Albert Einstein
About the Authors
Pam Thompson MS, RN, FAAN is the CEO Emeritus of the American Organization for Nursing Leadership, formerly AONE. During the same time, 2000–2016, she was the Senior VP of Nursing for the American Hospital Association. After retiring in 2017, she now serves as a healthcare consultant and volunteer board member and trustee for several healthcare entities.
Marla Weston PhD, RN, FAAN is the past CEO of the American Nurses Association Enterprise which included the American Nurses Association, American Nurses Credentialing Center and American Nurses Foundation, serving from 2009 to 2018. She now is a consultant and facilitator in leadership development, organizational strategy and growth, and future trends.
