Where are the ideal places to hide during a zombie apocalypse?
Ever since George A. Romero released Night of the Living Dead back in 1968, the world has been gripped by the fear of a real zombie apocalypse occurring at any given moment. Now, the last time I checked there were no zombies roaming the streets, so you’ll have plenty of time to find out where five of the safest places to hide during a zombie apocalypse are.
1. A bunker
Thanks to the Second World War (1939–1945) and the Cold War (1947–1991 — apparently), there are plenty of bunkers littered across various locations, particularly in Europe, North America and Russia. Some of these bunkers remain fully operational and under the control of the government or military. But others have either been abandoned entirely or have been sold to private companies who often allow people to visit them as a tourist attraction.
Considering the majority of these bunkers were built to withstand being hit directly by a bomb — nuclear in the case of Cold War bunkers — I’m betting they’re pretty good at keeping zombies out too. That’s, of course, assuming you can get the air ventilation system working so that you can actually breathe down there when the air-tight, blast-proof doors are locked.
The problem is that, eventually, you will run out of supplies and will have to go to the surface at some point to find more. Unless you happen to have Matt Damon in the bunker with you to grow potatoes from your poop. Another issue is that if a few of your bunker-mates happen to become infected, you have absolutely nowhere to run, except outside where there are more zombies.
2. A treehouse
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always wanted a treehouse. My father always refused to build one for me because “we don’t even have a tree in the garden”. Excuses, excuses.
Now, a treehouse that is pretty high off the ground could provide you with a sufficient amount of protection from zombies. If they can’t climb, anyway.
Being high up off the ground would certainly give you a vantage point for spotting zombies, survivors and potential locations to scout for supplies. You’d need to make sure you’re well-stocked on food and such beforehand, otherwise, you’ll find yourself climbing down regularly to find more. The ground around trees is usually very fertile thanks to the seasonal falling of leaves, which decompose into the ground. This means you could set yourself up a nice little vegetable garden close to the treehouse.
The problem is that being pretty high up it’ll be quite chilly in the winter months, and I wouldn’t really advise lighting a nice, cosy warm fire inside what's effectively a large, flammable matchbox. Another problem is that trees can be damaged by moisture, fungus, insects and wildlife as well as pushed over by very strong winds, taking your treehouse tumbling down with it.
3. A mountain
To be honest, this is probably the most illogical of the five in this list. But never you mind that.
Mountains, for the most part, are uninhabited. The chances of you running into a zombie in a mountain are slim. Unless there happens to be a nearby ski resort, of course. Mountains are also usually, but not always, a considerable distance away from large, populated areas, meaning there’s also a very low chance of a zombie accidentally finding its way up one.
There may sometimes be abandoned buildings in the mountain that you could occupy for the time being. The isolation could probably ensure it’ll be a long time before you see a zombie, provided that you have ample supplies.
The trouble is, of course, climbing the mountain in the first place. You’ll need to grab ahold of some mountaineering gear and mountain-proof clothing. On top of that, you’ll also need to get your supplies and tools up there with you. And that’s a lot of weight to be carrying up to a mountain. Mountains are mostly pretty inhospitable places. And the rocky ground might make it difficult, if not impossible, to grow food. You’d also have to consider that there is also the possibility landslides, avalanches, wild animals and, if you’re very unlucky, Bigfoots (Bigfeet? Nobody told me what the plural is). Oh, or you might fall off and mangle yourself up a bit.
Though the isolation of a mountain would likely keep you safe from having your brains nibbled on, it’s a very illogical choice of shelter. Still, it’s a cool thought, right?
4. A ship, trawler or yacht
Being in the middle of the ocean in a sea-worthy vessel would be a pretty safe place to wait out the zombie apocalypse. That’s assuming none of your shipmates are infected.
You won’t have a place to grow your potatoes (sorry Matt Damon), but the ocean would provide you with an infinite source of food anyway, so make sure you pack some fishing gear.
The chances of coming across a zombie would be pretty rare, aside from an occasional floater, maybe.
The main issue with this idea though is drinking water. Larger modern ships have the ability to convert saltwater into drinkable water, but such technology would likely be near impossible to find on a yacht or trawler, in such cases, you’ll have to go back on dry land to find some.
Another issue is that waterborne vessels use a lot of fuel and very quickly. So in your treasure hunt for drinkable water, you’d also need fuel for the vessel to make it back out to sea, as well as back to land again when you need more supplies.
The ocean is also a pretty dangerous place. Powerful storms, rocks, shallows and so on pose serious threats to the vessel and those on board.
5. A castle (or fort)
Castles are a rather common sight across Europe. For centuries they have stood proudly upon the land, defending people from pesky invaders. And there’s no reason why they can’t do the same in the zombie apocalypse.
To be fair, the majority of operational castles and fortresses would probably be occupied by the remainder of the armed forces in the event of a zombie apocalypse. They’re a defensible building, often located on a vantage point or in a choke point, allowing the easy, mass slaughter of hundreds of undead in a single night as well as providing safe haven for the survivors inside its walls.
Castles that are surrounded by a moat will provide additional defence. And of course, you’d need to make sure that the drawbridge and/or gate actually still works. The thing is hundreds of years old, you know?
Some castles are capable of having crops grown inside its walls and still have plenty of room to raise some poultry and livestock, so you should be able to grow a steady supply of food to go around.
If those old, crumbling walls don’t fall down in the night, a castle, or fortress, is probably the safest of all places on this list. You could pretend to be the central character in a Game of Thrones-Walking Dead mash-up.
So there you have it, five places that might be the safest to hide in during a zombie apocalypse. Hopefully, you’ll never have any need for this information. But, in case the need does arise, I call dibs on having Matt Damon in my castle bunker.
