Let’s Not Get Too Comfortable

This mornin’ I had a really beautiful and genuine conversation with my best friend on our hike. The kind of conversation that last for a couple hours but feels like only minutes. And my personal favorite, a conversation that invokes just as much laughter as it does thought.

Per usge, we started off the conversation with the general “how’s life” question. We chatted about school, work, and friends before finally popping the question we had both been thinkin’.

“What’s going on in your love life?”

While a resounding non-existent blared in my mind, she was quick to update me on her latest boy drama. Ya know, all the girly lovey dovey gossip that boys can’t stand but girls somehow can’t live without. After giving me the run-down about her two “v-day potentials,” I couldn’t help but fall in love with the first dood she mentioned. He seemed charming, sweet, charismatic, and all the good things that I personally like in a dood. But too my surprise (not really) she fell victim to the naive “but he’s too nice” ideology. And I’m here to tell you this “too nice” ideology is consuming our generation.

And let me tell you why….

Girls are constantly trying to make the “bad” guys good for them. And well, boys are always trying to make the “good” girls bad for them. Sound crazy? I think so.

So here is my question….

How nice is too nice? I’m asking for a friend.

Call it a coincidence, but hiking to inspiration point this morning gave me the inspiration I so desperately needed for this blog post. After our hike, I just could not seem to shake our conversation, so I decided to do a “fun” little study and look back on some of the closeted not so successful flings I’ve had. I know — I know, I am such a psych major. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I know, it sounds crazy, but I gotta know… how nice can you be to that person you are interested in or [even better] you are in a relationship with, before they begin to take advantage. So without further ado, I began scrollin’ through some old text messages.

This is what I found…

In reading some old text messages, I quickly found my answer. Sure enough the initial “hey sweetheart ❤” texts turned into the “hey what’s up” and the daily conversations turned into weekly conversations. I noticed a trend with one person in particular. Initially, he was texting me ALL day. He was sending me good morning texts and good night texts. But after doin’ some scrollin’ I noticed, he stopped sending me good morning text and was now only sending the goodnight text. What was my response, I started sending the good morning texts AND the goodnight texts. And let me tell you this was the wrongest thing I could’ve done.

So what was going on with this guy? Let me tell you.

It’s easy.

HE BECAME COMFORTABLE. And all I know is these 3 words can be detrimental to any type of a relationship because comfort equates to not trying.

So here’s your answer…

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being nice. In fact, I think I speak for most people when I say dating a “nice” person is preferable to dating a “mean” person. But here’s the condition. We need to find the happy medium of being nice and not being a pushover (too nice). Sound good? I’m asking for a friend.