You’re Killin’ Me Smalls
Fitness Checkpoint One
My Fitness Journey (So Far)
Small.
That’s word people used to describe me growing up and so I thought it was who I had to be. My limitations were reminders telling me I wasn’t cut out for a fit lifestyle. But you are where you want and deserve to be. Throughout our lives, we are constantly making decisions based on what we value. We are where we want to be. My first attempt a fit and healthy lifestyle didn’t come for a long time.
Phase One: College Cam
Growing up my weekends were claimed by basketball. I played constantly with a handful of friends in high school and it told me that’s all I needed to worry about. But it wasn’t until college that I spent my mornings with my roommate Dave doing 4 mile runs and hitting our dorm’s basement gym. When you walked in, a wave of humidity and the stench of sweat hit you like a wall and the small cracked window, with a view of the grass outside at our heads, did’t offer any reprieve. We worked our asses off. We even enlisted the help of a friend down our hall. The late Conor Waters, who we sadly lost to drug addiction years after school, was a teacher at a jiu jitsu studio, or his family owned one. Or something like that. Either way, we weren’t super confident in his skills. But we signed up for the “Conor workout” and let him be our guide. While me and Dave were eating salads in the cafeteria, under the obvious instruction of the “Conor diet,” we caught Conor with, no lie, a stack of about 5–6 pizza slices piled on one plate. Maybe more. That’s the day we quit the Conor workout. I miss that guy. We both made some great progress that year, but the commitment was short-lived. When I couldn’t see the results that others later told me I had achieved, I thought I couldn’t get where I wanted to be and called it.
Phase Two: Career Cam
My second attempt came when I realized my career shouldn’t be my only focus as I frequently worked through lunches and ignored any dedicated time to fitness and healthy living. I couldn’t afford to be fit this early in my career I told myself. But I got suddenly found myself committed to P90X with an intern at work. After a couple weeks of 5:30am mornings, he bowed out and I surprised myself when I kept going. I missed 2 days. So P88x would have to do. After that I gained 12 lbs and body fat % was around 12%. But I still didn’t know what the hell I was doing in my workouts or outside of it. So that number jumped back to 23%. Dammit. I kept pushing, but a couple years later I was in the middle of a lot of shit in my life, the stress put me back to sum zero. I had lost those years of hard work.
Phase Three: Dad Cam
I had made a couple attempts at getting fit later in my twenties feeling the thrisis coming on. But it wasn’t until I sat down and looked at my most proud moment that I had the motivation that would push me into a lifestyle that I had no intention leaving. Pouring through old pictures of a clueless dad looking down at a his beautiful newborn son; his son looking right back up in complete dependence and safety. While the pictures transported me back to those first days 4 years earlier, I felt uncomfortable. I looked…weak.
That was the why I needed. I guess it wasn’t enough to impress girls growing up, Conor workouts failed miserably, P90X helped give me a push forward, but I needed to know why it was worth doing. I wanted my kid to look to me as someone who was strong, who couldn’t be easily knocked down. Now looking down at my boy, he looked up and saw Batman. I wanted to earn that title of superhero. With my son who saw me as his hero, I was determined to make this decade stronger than my last. Not be the dad that let age determine who he could and couldn’t be. But a dad who’s unhealthy times were behind him, not ahead.
I knew I could be more. With renewed determination, I spent the next 5 years fighting my way back. Lots of ups and downs in there, but a steady increase. Before I didn’t see taking care of my body as part of taking care of myself. I didn’t know that it would become what helped me maintain control back in my life. Passing up the now for the future me.
I wanted my kid to look to me as someone who was strong, who couldn’t be easily knocked down. Now looking down at my boy, he looked up and saw Batman.
Listen, I’m completely unqualified and still have a lot to learn. But I wanted to share some of the things that personally I’ve found helpful in motivating me and some of the methods I’ve used to get results. I’ve come a long ways in the last 5 years, but I have a long ways to go. Hopefully you can grab onto a thing or two that will help you go places you never thought you could.
Just the Tips
- Keep the Why in Front of You
Why am I here? What do I hope to get out of this? Before you start a workout, whether its the gym, a rock wall, a run on Town Lake, I like to pause to spend a minute or two just getting my head in the game. Talk to yourself. Tell yourself why you’re doing this and what you hope to get out of your workout. I know this is a common start to a yoga class, but it helps me to place those goals in front of me and to spend a minute pushing aside everything that’s on my mind. I usually review an ‘Aspirations’ note on my iPhone that tells me some of my fitness and health goals. The what I want to look like (see #3), the how I want to feel (strong, confident, energetic, mentally alert) and the why I should be pushing myself to do it at all. (be a badass dad, look good, prove I can push myself to places I thought impossible, be a beast on obstacle courses like Tough Mudder, fight off stiffness that comes with age) If you need a little pep talk before you get going, listen to my friend Shia. Just do it. - Dress the Part
This one took a while to admit. But when I’m surrounded by mirrors and am constantly “analyzing my form,” I’m also my biggest judge. Guess what? You look your best when you’re working out and when you are at a distance from the mirrors. (Yes, I get less attractive the closer you get to me) I got away from baggy clothes and wear fitted clothes that make me look and feel good. I’ll take encouragement anywhere and anyway I can get it. I need that self back pat. - Have Body Heroes
Follow on Instagram and Twitter and take note of their habits and attitudes when it comes to their fitness. Some of my fitness heroes are Jeremy Scott and Joe Manganiello, Julian Michael Smith, Ryan Reynolds, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans and Stephen Amell (oh hey, most of those are in superhero movies). Follow your heroes on social and anyone else that gives you an ideal to strive for. I’ll never be 6'3" Chris Hemsworth, but I’ve seen pics of him smaller and still remember the gasps I heard in the theater when he took his shirt off in Thor and how he’s continued to build on that. That comparison is super motivating to me and I’m all about keeping up with inspiring people like that who transform themselves. - Find Others Who Give a Shit
I love hanging out with people who are into taking care of themselves. Who are doing it in their own way. I have a lot of friends who rock climb, who do marathons or run regularly on Town Lake. Friends I’ve recruited for Tough Mudder Tahoe who will be flying with me in June (an open invitation by the way) and who will be able to teach me things about how they got to where they are. I know it’s annoying to hear those conversations on the outside. I did for decades. But fitness is not a thing you do, it’s how you live. It’s a lifestyle of taking care of yourself in all aspects of your life. Whether good or bad, you and the people you surround yourself with will influence you. Surround yourself with people who want to be like and who share your same goals and aspirations. - Don’t Give Yourself an Out
One of those biggest things I’ve heard these past 5 years and I tell myself whenever I’m really struggling to get to work is that I’ll never regret following through and getting to my workout, or passing up that cake or going to be early enough to give me the rest I need. But 100% I will regret skipping the workout, eating the cake (though there’s a place for the cheat meal or dessert) and I always regret staying up that extra hour to look at my instagram feed. But here’s the thing. There will always be excuses. There’s always something you can use to justify a bad decision. I heard that voice all the time saying “You’ve done good, you deserve a break” or “You’ve had 2 protein shakes and a salad, you earned that via 313 pizza.” Giving in only makes it harder when the next temptation comes around. A method I like to use it to take 10 minutes and walk away. I’ll come back with renewed will power and ready to fight temptation or follow through on my commitments. Fight the battle. Don’t let that voice convince you of what you deserve. - Don’t Shy from Progress Pics
Flex in that mirror. Take pics. Be proud. Don’t apologize. I’m not looking good for everyone else. I’m looking good for me. (that means you might steer clear of taking them for your Tinder profile) Don’t be afraid to admire yourself at your best and like Ron Burgundy say, “I look good.” You may not feel that right away, but if you’re consistent, I guarantee you’ll progressively look better than you did yesterday. Having those progress pics are hugely important to look back to when, like me in college, you don’t see the results. Sometimes when I’m feeling down about feeling stagnant, I look back and see how far I’ve come, even in the last 6 months and know that it’s paying off. That gives me the push I need to keep going. Just like writing down what weights you are using so you can have something to compare to, always remind yourself how far you’ve come.
7. Don’t Compartmentalize
Yes, diet is a huge part. But every part is huge. Don’t limit your fitness to the gym. Change your perspective. See your meals as opportunities to further your fitness, not what you’re going to have to fight to get back in the gym. Don’t see your fitness in percentages. 30% workouts, 50% diet, 10% water and supplements, 10% sleep. It’s not even the whole “90% of your fitness is diet.” Fuck that noise. It’s 100% pushing yourself with right exercises with the right form and the right intensity. 100% watching what you put in your body, including alcohol and water. It’s 100% making sure you are giving your body the rest it needs, another form of feeding yourself.
8. Be Specific with your Goals
Right now, I’ve got an InBody assessment that tells me my arm, leg size, chest size, body fat % and a whole hell of a lot more. I have specifics I can use to compare and build goals off of. I’m using an app called StickK that allows you to put money on the line. If you miss your goals, money goes to either a friend, charity or ant-charity (which is what I’m doing, no way in hell I’m allowing the NRA to get a dime from me). I have smaller goals, but my top goal this year, which has my money on the line, is getting to 10% body fat. Last I checked in maybe October or November I was at 12.8%. I’m hoping at the start of the year I was at 12, so I could push hard for .5% a quarter, which is specific and achievable and will be done. I’ll be checking on April 1st to see where I’m at, but the goal is that I’ll be at 11.5%. We’ll see. If I’m off, I’ll need to make adjustments to get me back on track.
9. Get off Your Damn Phone
Think of it like being at a movie theater. Get a small notepad, jot down your routine, keep your phone in your locker. You can check your twitter feed and text gifs later. Stay focused and be present. Get your head in the game. If you need your phone for music, get your playlist ready then don’t let yourself even touch it till you are done. Get a timer for your rests between your sets so you have no reason to get out of your flow. Use those rest times to stretch and remind yourself why you’re there.
10. Include a Favorite Exercise and an Intimidating One
I change up my workout about every 8–10 weeks and make sure I sprinkle in some favorites that I can look forward to in my routine. Keep some of your core work (deadlifts, squats, bench press, barbell/dumbell curls, shoulder press, pullups) in every week which will usually be your intimidating ones, then have some interesting ones in there that you look forward to .Always be pushing your body, don’t let it get comfortable. You’ll just plateau and waste your time. But you need to stick with the same routine long enough to see progression, which is a mistake I made for a long time. Changing it up too much didn’t allow me to push my workouts further. Some of the ones I like to rotate in that I look forward to are z-bar reverse curls for and beach curls for biceps, hex press for chest, one arm cable pulldowns for triceps, a dumbell squat to shoulder press combo and landmind squat for legs and shoulders and toes to bar for ab workouts. They aren’t easy ones, that won’t do anything. But it always helps to have some you strangely look forward to.
11. Know Your Golden Hour
I avoid nighttime, because it’s hard to sleep after the energy you get from a workout. Research has actually shown as well that your will power decreases as you use it, so when you’re using it all day, it becomes harder and harder to get a workout in the later it gets. But it’s really what works best for you. Whether it’s before work, lunch or after when you’re fully engaged mentally and physically, take advantage of that golden hour. It’s not just something for photographers to seek out.
12. Rest
Writing these blogs on a Sunday is great because it’s my rest day. But here’s the thing, I spend the whole day anxious to get back to it. It’s something years ago I would never expect. Sunday nights usually bring on that sinking feeling that a work week is a night’s sleep away. With Game of Thrones on hiatus until next year, that’s felt even more. But I’m ready for Monday because I’m rested and ready to kick some ass. Rest being the third pillar, along with healthy eating and physical fitness, is no joke. I’m super anal about the rest I get and I don’t care if people think it’s lame to go to bed at 10 and get up at 6. That’s the fuel my body needs to work. That’s what I’m gonna give it, even if I need to work in some naps in there from time to time.
Progress Report
Small is not who I am. Because I wanted something else. Took me a while to realize who I wanted to be and still not there. But I’m on my way. At 36 years old I’ve never felt better, never pushed myself harder and have never been more determined to see where I could take myself.
Hope my awkward journey helped you think about yours and where you want to be. If that skinny kid could push himself beyond where he thought, so can you.
