Ìdúmọ̀tà

Loving advice her friend gave her:

“Don’t worry; if you need to pee, there are public toilets you can use for 50 naira. Don’t even dare sit on them- if you do, OYO is your case.

Try to dodge the drippings of dirty water from the many roofs. Else, na your human hair go suffer am.

Hold your bag tight o; your neighbour could be a nice, decent-looking pilferer.

Since you be JJC, abeg, no form posh. Hold your Mummy tight. That market is big, babe. You fit miss way.

And, don’t get carried away by all you see them selling on the road. It could be time-wasting trying to price and/or buy everything you like.

My dear, 419 is real. Let Mummy price, you watch and learn.”

Her own experience:

Shoved by the different alábàárùs hurling, “exceez oo!!!”

along the sinuous inter-shop alleys.

Called by many “marketers”,

“Aunty, come. I will sell good market for you.”

Bumped into by a fellow buyer;

No apologies given. None expected anyway.

Her feet are soiled by soak away water;

she automatically schedules them for super-scrubbing.

They are implored earnestly by the fervent seller,

“I get the type for my other shop. Wait, make I go bring am.”

Disdained by the unyielding one for driving too low a bargain,

“If I bought it at that price, I would be very happy!”

A kaleidoscope of poverty and “hustle”,

A mosaic of goods and bads (sic),

Like failing glomeruli, all pass through-

thief and sluggard

bride-to-be on a shopping spree

BRT bus driver

enthralled JJC shopaholic

a sleeping child on its mother’s back-

till the sun turns westward,

and tired feet head homeward.

Glossary

OYO: “On Your Own”, used to depict that a person’s actions are done at their own risk.

JJC: “Johnny Just Come”, a newcomer or rookie.

Form Posh: To act in a bougie manner.

Miss way: To get missing, a Nigerian Pidgin English phrase.

Price: When used as a verb (as in this context), it means to haggle/drive a bargain.

419: A generic terminology colloquially used to refer to fraud or the activities of conmen.

Alábàárù-: A person who carries heavy goods, usually on their head, to a specified location for an agreed fee. The faster they do so, the more “jobs” they can cover during work hours, hence their impatience.

Soak away: Sewage that seeps or spills into streets from damaged pipes.