Credit: An Imagined Encounter
Customer: I’d like to purchase airtime.
Seller: (Eager to make his first sale in the day) Okay Sah. How much Sah?
Customer: First, I’d like to confirm if your POS device works.
Seller: E dey alright Sah. (Tries to set up the POS machine but connects it improperly)
Customer: Young man, you are inept! How do you expect it to work that way? Can’t you see it is improperly connected? The voltage running through the wires is obviously unable to ambiently power up the device.
Seller: (Fixes the device) I don do am. How much own you wan buy?
Customer: Okay, that’s fine. Let me use my debit card.
Seller: (Getting a bit impatient) Oga, how much credit you wan buy?
Customer: (Looks at the device) No, no, no. Look at that. The device is unable to connect to the bank server. What a gross disappointment; such an unfortunate network flop.
Seller: (Getting more impatient) Oga, make we no use am again. Give me the money. I go give you the credit.
Customer: (Shrugs) Alright then, if you say so. I’d like to purchase five scores worth of airtime in naira as recharge. I’d like it to be precisely accurate so I don’t have to call the customer care line of my network provider to hash out unnecessary issues. I find being put on hold disrespectful to my persona, and they do that quite a lot.
Seller: (Very testy) Oga, which one be score? No be football o. Na credit. How much credit you wan buy?
Customer: Okay. I have a thousand naira and I just want airtime worth a tenth of that.
Seller: (Infuriated) How much be the airtime Sah? No use grammar talk am!
Customer: Credit, hundred naira. Is that clear enough?
Seller: (Fuming) No change!!!
