Camwood Carats
Published in

Camwood Carats


We had been too tired to deliberate or listen anymore; we just wanted to close the delegates’ symposium. That was why the anchor said anyone of us could volunteer to give a brief vote of thanks.

“Two minutes,” he said.

Elvis mounted the podium and began.

“I am honoured to represent all the members by giving the vote of thanks to our amiable and reputable speakers. It has been such a pleasure being here today. We have learned a lot and I anticipate that each one of us would impact our individual communities positively.

“Waste disposal is a challenge many Nigerians encounter daily. We all are guilty of refuse dumping in the bush or open gutters, or the littering of our streets and roads with empty sachets of ‘pure water.’

“Not only is this a problem hazardous to man’s health, it also poses a catastrophic menace to the ecosystem. Most assuredly, an occasion as this where the brightest of minds gather to unearth a panacea is a praiseworthy one.

“From the commencement of the programme to its closing, it has been a fine experience. Our speakers did not just lecture dryly, they educated us. The atmosphere was warm and cordial. The pastries were lush, the meals mouth-watering. The souvenirs are classic, peculiar. What more can one expect of a symposium in a centre that cost millions of naira?”

I looked at Elvis, dumbfounded. What part of “two minutes” did he not understand? He was already converting the vote of thanks to a full speech. Anyway, I think the mic was tired at that point, because it just simply stopped working.



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