Dear Brain
Don’t Leave Me Now!
I am using an egg to symbolize my brain! This is not original, some of you might remember a public service announcement years ago that used eggs to make a point. A very good point. It basically started with a guy with a great voice and an egg saying, “this is your brain, and this is your brain on drugs!” Mr. Great-Voice-Guy cracks the egg over a frying pan and dumps it into the frying pan to sizzle away. Point being that you are frying your freaking brains out using drugs.
Well I was not using drugs nor was it my fault when I slipped and cracked my egg(head) on the ice in December. Since then things have been a bit fuzzy.
When I say “fuzzy” what I mean is my brain is missing in action. I know it has been breathsuckingly cold outside, enough to make anyone hide away. But I am ready to send an all-points bulletin (APB) out asking for its’ surrender back into the confines of my skull.
I can deal with the lost keys, but the thing with the glasses on top of my head and searching all over the house and yelling for the my kids to help in my search. Here is the kicker, my snarky 14 year old son tells me they are perched on my brain’s former home! This is not funny, my brain better get its’ ass home now!
I can take the random struggle for words, but not this dead silence with the whistle of the wind blowing through my mind. My family, friends, colleagues, and the general public are looking at me like I am short a whole lot more than a few screws. While, you my friend, are out screwing around I am left wondering where the slippery grey matter has slipped off too.
Is there a Vegas retreat for the brain, perhaps a day spa for the hippocampus where it can wander off and forget the poor sucker desperately in need of its services.
I suffered a concussion due to that pesky fall on the ice in December. I now have what they call “post concussion syndrome.” When they used this diagnosis with me, all I could think was that they really don’t know what the hell to do so they stuck “post” and “syndrome” onto concussion, and called it a day. Then I find out that this thing is an actual problem and can last for months or longer.
I am supposed to be getting cognitive tests done by a neuro-psychologist. Of course, my daughter jumped up and down like a jumping bean when I told her. This will be her major in the Fall when she enters college. She has been telling me since I fell and banged my head exactly what parts of the brain I probably bruised. Smart kid, she is taking college psychology in her last year of high school. I am paying for it… nice to know she is learning something. What was my point?
Anyhow, I now have a calendar on my phone where I program all my daily chores, appts., calls, etc., with alarms to remind me of what needs to be done at all moments of the day! I have to laugh at myself, or else I will cry.
A number of years ago, I used to write a blog about everyday family life, raising kids, etc. I used to write to my brain periodically and post it on the blog for a few laughs. Here is one of my old posts that I found not so long ago.
I had a lot of fun doing these silly posts and they would make me laugh at the everyday forgetful moments. Laughter has always been a medicine for me. It still is even if I am a little afraid this time!
Dear Brain, please return from your retreat to Vegas {yes I have decided to think of my brain in the City of Sin, because what happens there stays there}, and let’s face it I won’t remember.
