I have an Instagram account and one day I was a little bored… so I decided to “roam” around on Instagram and use the Explore doohickey to see what everybody was doing and what was trending. Okay, here is my take on what I saw:

1. Boobs
2. Boobs
3. Lotsa’ boobs
4. Booties in all shapes and sizes with tight pants, w/o pants, with panties, in bathing suits.

5. Puckered lips in what now is called “duckface” lips! What the hell is that anyway. You look stupid, stop doing that! Obviously you do not know about the “Freddy Mercury” law.

So then, I wandered a little further and actually talked myself into visiting some of the individual Instagram accounts. Wow, just wow! It was picture after picture of the same pose with a little tweaking, different outfits, different day!

The guys were just as bad as the ladies… I guess these guys thought they really looked hot. Most of them just looked young and dumb. And when I think about it anybody that would put that much time into posting “selfies” must not be worried about getting a serious job. Unless of course, you are a rock star. Let’s face it, most of them are not rock stars and will probably never be rock stars. So let the rock star be rock stars… at least we expect them to be narcissistic.

I did view some of the celebrity/model Instagrams… I thought some were actually pretty nice and not too over-the-top obsessed with themselves. In some they even were showing off their babies, husbands/wives/girlfriends/boyfriends/family members. Nothing to self promoting, or at least in my opinion they did not appear that way.

It was more the people that were hosting upwards of 1,000 to 200,000+ followers that were really putting it out there. The only reason I could think of as to why these people were posting so many selfies, many times a day, was that they were fishing (actually on a worldwide expedition) for compliments. Most of the compliments that I saw went something like this:

“ Yall some ugly lookin motha fukas” (so glad they can’t spell, that made this much easier to read!) I guess this isn’t a compliment, oh well! At least it is attention, right?

“Dayum” (another spelling bee champ!)

“Imma gonna git me sum dat!”

“Dayum” (this was a commonly used w.o.r.d.??)

Just a word to some of you well meaning folks posting workout photos… STOP! When I say folks, I mean really attractive women in tights and sports bras bending over and giving advice on exercise. Although I have no doubt that you mean well and are looking out for the health of your followers, may I suggest you have a subscribed following. Because most of the “people” watching your well-meaning bending, stretching, jumping… are not there for the health advice! But if you don’t care… be my guest!

I can appreciate the beauty of both sexes. I like looking at beautiful men and women. But this is downright narcissistic behavior. It is a quick fix for the people that put more value on the outside of a person than what is inside a person. Yada yada yada. We have all heard this before, right?

So my point in writing this article is to pose a few questions to the selfie crowd?

1. If and when you actually meet all the people “liking” your posing and posturing for the camera… what do you intend to do when you can’t tweak your body, face, lips, etc. in such a way that you appear perfect? What do you think they will think of the “real” you? Do you care? Do you really want people to take you at “face” value? Or do you plan to live in front of the bathroom mirror for the rest of your life? I didn’t think so.
2. Girls, ladies, women… when your breasts aren’t plumped and pumped, your booty isn’t booting… what else do you have to offer? A personality perhaps?
3. To most of the guys I see on Instagram, some are real models and they look good. Sooo this is nothing new or earthshattering. So what if you are a good looking person, there are tons and tons of goodlooking people on this planet. Get over yourself… and no I don’t need to see all your damn tattoos. I love tattoos, I just don’t care if they are on you!
4. I don’t need to see you eating a burrito, blowing your nose, brushing your teeth, drinking a beer… soda… water… wine. I don’t want to see you inebriated (otherwise, known as drunk, toasted, impaired, tipsy, shitfaced) and doing stupid stuff. I do not need to see you doing any of those things while driving your Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren. We already know you are stupid. What? Now you want us to know that you might be rich, or your parents are loaded, or you are horribly in debt!

I already know what people are gonna tell me after my “selfie” broadside. They will say, “if you don’t like it, you don’t have to look at it.” You are right! Yes, you heard me… I admit you are right and I don’t have to look at it.

I did look, and once is enough!

I also realize that the people I hope actually read this probably never will. Because they are too busy taking photos of themselves!