Getting older is like walking on rocks. You don’t really know what the next step will bring. It is quite a bumpy time, oh and rocky.
So now that I have lost most of the audience because let’s face it most of the millennials have just tuned out but they are gonna get old.
When I was in my twenties I remember thinking that my age was ancient.
One bump on this road is menopause which has been tough on my soul and body. It really is like my body is telling me that I am no longer needed, it can shut down now. Services no longer needed.
Just as getting my period was a rite of passage so is menopause. My menopausal passage started four years ago when the heat flashes started. I would get these blasts of heat to my face that felt like hell fire. Everyone around me was cold and I wanted to dump a giant jug of ice water over my head.
I responded by cutting my hair and that did not help. I wore short sleeves in the dead of winter and that didn’t help either. I even walked barefoot in snow and I swear the snow evaporated. I should have been branded as a heat source.
My husband had to stay way over on his side of the bed because his body heat could cause me to loss my overheated mind and turn all fans within a 100 mile radius toward our bed. I have calmed down since that period of time and we have found a livable arrangement. I stay on my little area of the bed with a blowing fan, and he has his mile thick set of blankets. He is happy and warm. I am nice and cool. Most days.
Aging is a natural process, I mean we all have a shelf life. I hope the research is out there to extend our lives with meaning but I am not holding my breath. I am okay with aging, most days.
Recently I was trying on clothes for an upcoming trip and it was all going so well until I realized I no longer could wear some of the clothes. I was envisioning myself flouncing around Hawaii in some really cute stuff. My beautiful twenty-three year old daughter suggested I wear Spanx while I climb Diamond Head in Hawaii. I looked at her and said, “the hell I will, squeezing myself into those things is like making sausage.” Do not think on that thought too long. I am not that desperate to impress anyone that much anywhere anymore.
There is a freedom that comes with aging if you embrace it. I mean I still want to lose weight, take care of my body, and learn pottery. Three very admirable goals.
Which brings me back to those rocks. As a kid I used to walk barefoot in our creek. Sometimes I would walk on a squishy thing and jump a mile high. Other times I would relish the cool water as I dug my toes in the dirty sandy bottom. I loved to collect rocks and study them as I would turn them over in my hand. I learned as I grew older they told a story as they tumbled along. They were evolving and so am I and my story is still being told.
I have been tumbled, wrecked, smoothed. The sun has shone on me many days and the rain has poured on me more days than I care to to think about. But through it all it has made me into the person I am and in a way it really is the foundation on which I stand.
I have always loved rocks, I still collect them, walk over them and study them. They remind me of my good times, my rough times, and that growing old and getting worn is a part of life.
