Can the 21st century Indians please give living alone the credit it deserves?
Like most of the people I am friends with, I didn’t grow up watching American sitcoms. My childhood comprised of playing with kids in my colony, reading Enid Blyton and Ruskin Bond, and watching Tom and Jerry, for the most part.
I was exposed to American sitcoms at an age where I could think objectively about things. So, when Rachel Greene ran off from her wedding and is made to realize by her friends that in the ‘real world’ she cannot live in her father’s house and on his money, and would have to look for a job to buy clothes and food, I thought to myself, “Wait, isn’t that how it should work?” But everywhere I looked around me I saw even 30 year olds living with their parents.(Disclaimer: This might not be the case with people who have extremely progressive belief systems running in their families, just talking about people like me). Anyway, I decided that that wouldn’t be me.
5 years later, I found myself travelling for almost one and a half hours to reach college every day. I wasn’t alone, you know? I knew a lot of people who did the same thing. A year later, I was forced to live on my own (not alone, unfortunately) and it was the best thing that happened to me.
For starters, it made me extremely independent. I could do whatever, live the way I wanted to, eat junk, wake up at 2pm on Sundays, stay out with my friends till late without someone worrying at home, etcetera, etcetera. Needless to say, it sucked not having someone around when I was sick, but I learnt which medicines to take at what time, which spray to use for sore muscles; basically to take care of my own self. I overspent on outings, and regretted it for days, survived on the cheapest food available for a week to make up for it because I didn’t want to ask for more money from my mom. Basically, I made a lot of mistakes and learnt from them. I started taking responsibility for my actions.
Most importantly, I grew closer to my family. Whenever I went back home for weekends, I started to appreciate the little things that they did for me. Dal chawal with baingan was the first thing I wanted to eat as soon as I entered home. I started respecting and valuing them so much more than I ever did. Communicating with them became a lot easier.
But one thing that sucked was that I still fed off their money (still am). Why my mom couldn’t just ask me to start earning my own money as soon as I turned 18, is a question that I still ask myself. Our culture practically teaches us to be reliant on somebody till eternity. In your 20s you’re reliant on your parents; in your 50s your parents are reliant on you. When does one learn how to be independent and self-reliant? Why is the concept of living on one’s own if their parents live in the same city still so new to the Indian society? Why is it only okay to move away from home for further education or for a job?
With a zillion more pros than cons, I think it’s time to give living alone the credit that it deserves.
