Can the 21st century please give some love to the long-distance relationship?
If there’s one kind of relationship that’s taken a beating in popular media far more than it deserves it’s the long-distance relationship. It’s almost as if movies and TV series actively try to make it seem like the single most dumb thing you could possibly do, and it almost never ends well. The same regurgitated plot lines show couples making tough decisions between their careers and their love lives, as if mature adults are incapable of balancing both. It’s as if no midway solution can possibly be met, or any tough situations handled. Most onscreen couples give up before even trying.
Out here in the real world however, if you feel like you’ve met someone you can love without meeting every day, I suggest you give the thing a try at the very least. Because while it has its tough moments, it can give you some surprises. I can’t deny it would feel much better to be in the same city, to be only a few kilometers away, to be in the same house all day so you can talk, eat, and be together face to face. But if there’s only one person I would do that with anyway, adjusting to living a way less represented on the big screen or even in the books on our shelves, could be so very worth it.
Given that so many people I know have been in long-distance, I realized that mass media has created a phobia around it which wasn’t linking up with the real world. Sometimes, at least, IT CAN WORK! If there’s something you just simply must do for yourself, then your partner will understand if you try to make them. This hurdle needn’t be any larger than any other hurdle we face in our relationships, even if it may seem like that. Television has made sure you know exactly why such relationships are trying and frustrating, but give the other side of the coin a look.
If you’re young and only just beginning to discover the world, it helps when you have some space and free time. Yes, you should have that in (short-distance?) relationships too, but it can be liberating to have it without trying to make time for it or worrying about expectations and balance, or even the temptation of just meeting your significant other all the time. It isn’t easy to figure out your life and it sometimes requires a lot of alone time thinking or researching.
What’s more, when you both lead quite separate lives and aren’t experiencing things together, you have so much to discuss and share. Every day can be a new experience that you can talk to them about for hours. It’s like living two lives.
And a personal favorite, meeting after long periods of time can be so very exciting! It’s like having multiple first dates where you are just as excited about it as you were the real first time. You notice every small thing all over again; how they look, how they talk, and how it feels to hold their hand. You’re able to appreciate them deeply for being in your life.
Life can be tough, but long distance isn’t the end of everything. Take some time, live apart, and figure out how to be together eventually. Besides the varying socio-economic and political consequences of globalization, also hidden is its impact on our relationships. The world is smaller and larger both at once now and it’s almost inevitable that we may have to live apart for some periods of time. There are too many things to do in this world, but you don’t have to give up your relationship to do them if you don’t want to.
