Some relationships are fleeting, yet transformative but more fulfilling when there’s less time involved.
As a woman, I’ve never been shy to exclaim my love for sex. I’m definitely an agent provocateur and since my sexual awakening I’ve been in chase of the next orgasm and if orgasm isn’t achieved I also have had no reservations about indulging in the journey of seeking pleasure.
I’m also not one that seeks out monogamy and the mundane hetero-normative ideals of relationships. Or romance for that matter but I used the word to encapsulate the idea.
I have quick-fire couplings and in rare cases, those short encounters morph into serial ones; I end up drinking from the fountain of desire continuously.
I know this can be problematic for some people that feel monogamy is a default setting for human couplings but I like to keep things zipless, or better known as no strings attached.
Yes, I’m talking hook-up culture and although I’ve expressed annoyance on the banality of it, I would be remiss if I didn’t also share the satisfaction I’ve derived from it in the past.
That’s where Couplings in 4 Hours or Less came into play. I wanted to write about my dating experiences and quick relationships. In hopes to redefine what relationships are.
For the most part, society thinks relationships have to be a long term affair, in that two humans get to eviscerate each other emotionally on a continuous loop until there is nothing left. That may be a harsh way to look at monogamous relationships but isn’t that the inevitable reality?
We are all free to decide how we love, who we love, how we fuck, and the frequency at which we do it all.
As a woman that hasn’t always been easy for me to do at least not without judgment. A lot of people always seem to want to weigh in how women use their sexuality or how they choose to express it. Even the men they are sleeping with, especially them, because you know, patriarchy.
I’ve been in ‘situationships’ where men I was having a sexual relationship with couldn’t handle my ability to keep things in perspective and not fall in love with them.
It was the weirdest dichotomy because most of them also wanted to leave emotions at the door in lieu of pleasure and yet somehow I was always called out for being too detached.
For the most part, I chalked it up to them projecting their own issues about what they were doing and feeling on me. Nevertheless, it never stopped me from seeking out new connections and satiating my libido.
The original idea behind Couplings in 4 Hours or Less is an exploration of the results of experimenting with online dating and quick-fire Relationships after 30.
Couplings in 4 hours or less
An exploration of the results of experimenting with online dating and quick-fire Relationships after 30
I wanted to write about my quick encounters at first to share the woes of dating in the hook-up app age and share my frustrations and the experiences that were interesting. Now I want to continue with stories from the past.
There was a summer where I decided to keep a Sex Journal of all the guys I slept with. It was the summer of 2007 and I was enjoying my sexual liberation. I even rated the guys and wrote a commentary about various couplings that happened. Some of them were really entertaining to read back so I want to share them in the spirit of being candid and open about sex.
The real purpose is to be another strong feminine voice that is open about being sexually free and subverting the hetero-normative monogamous ideal.
I want to create a space where other women will feel free to talk about their sexual experiences and not feel ashamed, judged or guilty for enjoying sex.
Promiscuity has been vilified and I want to reclaim the idea. So that is why I began this series. Maybe one or two erotic pieces will come out of it too.
I have so many stories to tell and if this is your sort of thing to follow the series below, let me know you’re enjoying it with adequate praise and drop comments about your own experiences.
The Stories in Couplings in 4 Hours or Less
Each story is a stand alone and so you can read them in whatever order that strikes your fancy.
Swiping right and left is the worst way to guarantee that people are compatible. All it does is foster the vapid ideals society places on aesthetic beauty at the expense of substance.
Failure to Launch: A Tinder Mis-Match
A tinder dating story of a mismatch that failed to launch.
I will never understand men on dating apps that actively seek a new relationship, however brief, with someone and then fail to make time to either get to know them or go out with them. I’ve experienced this a lot this year with using dating apps in Miami.
I’m too busy to Pay Attention
Don’t you find it annoying when people glorify being busy? Especially as an excuse to not invest time in building…
The absurd one-liner greeting I got for countless mornings from guys that didn’t really put in much more effort to have a meaningful conversation or connection for that matter.
Good Morning Beautiful
“ A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.” –Mark Twain
A date I had last in France that really surprised me. I never expected a man to put so much emphasis on settling down and starting a family on the first date. I had no idea that it would be an immediate deal breaker.
When Intrigue Runs Cold over the Child-free Decision
A story about how I was dumped before the relationship even began because I want to remain child-free.
This one was curated by the Medium gods. This guy spawned a multitude of stories but this one, in particular, is more disturbing now in hindsight. He was all about skipping the chatter and getting straight to the bump and grind. Regardless of my protest.
This is about the same guy that starred in the story above. This is about our bizarre first date where he was so excited by my skin that I felt as if he may have been tempted to flay me and turn my epidermis into a coat. I guess that should have been a deterrent but he and I continued to tangle for awhile.
My Skin was the Selling Point for His Ardour
If he could flay me and wear my skin as a coat maybe he would have.
My romp in the sheets with a German guy 10 years my junior and the interesting discovering that came through my brief acquaintance with him.
A Catch 22
My romp in the sheets with a guy 10 years my junior and the interesting discovery.
To get updates for when new stories are published in the series be sure to Subscribe and show your appreciation by engaging. I would love to hear your own stories about quick-fire couplings and scintillating flings so don’t be shy comment and let me know. The link for the series is here and below.