Comfort Kills
Have you ever felt like something was missing? I mean, your life might look great on paper — you have amazing friends, go on plenty of adventures, spend time with your family, travel to beautiful countries, enjoy your career, and have a crazy dog who doesn’t let you sleep. You have everything that you could have asked for (except sleep), yet still find yourself searching for something?
A few nights ago I was running through the park after work. It was 40 degrees Celsius, and I was playing the Hong Kong version of hopscotch —maneuvering my way through the sidewalk as I dodged old men sleeping on the ground, jumped over a family cooking chicken feet, and just barely ducked under the swinging fishing rod of a young boy. This is crazy! Yet — it seemed all too normal.
I gasp for air after finishing the last mile and begin to think. I’m in a country where the unexpected happens on a daily basis, I’m having the time of my life with incredible friends from around the world, I’m learning more than I ever would have expected about business and about life — but I feel way too comfortable.
Coming to this realization wasn’t easy. This city was meant to challenge me in ways I’ve never been challenged before, to leave me in a constant state of questioning. Hong Kong was definitely doing this… until it wasn’t. Why did it stop?
As humans, we can find comfort in complete craziness. We can stop learning and challenging ourselves without ever realizing it. We can miss the world around us because we get so caught up in our own world.
I finally figured it out. I actually miss being uncomfortable. I miss the feeling of not knowing if I’m on the right street or getting off at the right stop. I miss the nervousness of walking into work for the first time. I even miss the uncertainty and anxiety I felt on my first night in this massive city.
Every single one of us will fall into this trap at some point in our lives… and that’s OK. Quite honestly, the trap feels great — but it will never feel complete. I believe that our lives are the most complete when we are overcoming our self-imposed limits, when we are meeting new people who challenge us, and when we begin actually living.
Actually living? Yes, actually living. When we stop following our playbook, and begin writing a new chapter. A chapter never written before, and a chapter without rules to follow or guidelines to copy.
Hong Kong may have knocked me off my game, but did you think I would let it win? Not a chance. And honestly — it’s pretty easy to climb out of this trap. Everyone can do it.
I tried a new restaurant.
That sounds rather easy. Yes. Exactly. That is the point. You don’t need to quit your job and run off to the middle of nowhere, hoping that the complete solitude and countless attempts at Warrior One will help you “find yourself”.
Just try some new food. Trust me. I guarantee that even the most unadventurous meal choice will beat the grande non-fat extra-whip half-sweet triple-pump double-shot caramel-whatever that usually quenches your morning hunger. Or — go crazy and try a dish that you’ve never heard of, from a cuisine you’ve never considered before. You may just end up on the side of a street in Macau eating Durian ice-cream, or at a fishing hut by the sea chowing down on Sri-Lankan delicacies.
I made friends with complete strangers.
Walk for five minutes down any major sidewalk, and there will absolutely be a group of people playing a mini-game of Survivor, trying to figure out who will be voted out of the next picture in lieu of acting as the interim photographer.
Say hello to these people and offer to take their photo. After that, just be yourself, and there’s a good chance you’ll end up showing them around for half an hour, or potentially grabbing lunch and spending the rest of your day with them!
A friend and I did this yesterday, and had a group of locals share with us stories of growing up in this wild city, help us negotiate fishing boat prices in Cantonese, and then take us to the best tea shop on the island.
I jumped on a bus, and had no idea where it was going.
This has to be done in the moment. Go to the nearest bus stop, by yourself or with your friends, and just wait. Hop on the next bus that comes by, and take it to the end of it’s route. I can’t begin to prepare you for what you may find or experience, but you will definitely see your city in ways you never have previously!
This impromptu adventure will open your eyes to the community around you. We ended up in a small village where no one spoke English, toured the inside of a hospital, and then got lost in the confusing turns and hidden hallways of an abandoned apartment building.
Have any cool stories about where you end up? Share them in the comments section below, I’d love to hear them!
Whatever you end up doing in life, wherever it may be — never let yourself become accustomed to the comfort that naturally develops. If you do, you will stop testing yourself, and you will stop getting lost in all of life’s incredible adventures.
