Your Networking Strategy is Failing–Here’s Why
Like many of my recurring trains of thought, this piece was inspired by a tweet I can no longer find.
I spent the last two years in coffee chats with professionals across different industries. Why? I was eager to learn about the so-called networking tactics that could take my career on the expressway to Silicon Valley. As a university student with no network, I figured there’d be no better course of action than picking up my phone and cold-messaging people on LinkedIn. This route allowed me to gain career-oriented perspectives on job applications and company-specific interview processes, but it rarely led to anything eventful.
Disappointed by this myth, I spent weeks pondering how my role models had made careers facilitating connections and mastering the so-called art of networking. It didn’t make sense.
What could they have been doing differently that I was failing at so drastically?
In defeat, I decided I’d carry on business as usual, waiting until the day it finally clicked. I packed my bags and went to British Columbia to spend three weeks with my cohort from the Cansbridge Fellowship. This period was a blur — think about the mental stimulation from being in constant conversation with such thought provokers.
When I finally got home, I pondered the following question in reflection of my trip:
In the midst of the busiest period of their lives, how would these people remember me?
I didn’t think about this in the existential-crisis-provoking way it appears, but in real curiosity, as I had met so many people in such a short time.
And so, in complete boredom, I refreshed Twitter.
“You will be remembered for the value you add to the lives of those around you.”
There it was. The answer to my question — fit in a block of text under 140 characters in length.
I was going about networking the completely wrong way. It wasn’t about maximizing the number of conversations I had — but maximizing the value I could add to each person I spoke to.
The psychological aspect behind this idea makes sense. By doing someone a favour, that person associates you with the gesture. For example, if your friend is desperately working to break into Product Management and you refer them to a resource such as Rocketblocks, they’ll be more likely to think of you when using the platform. If they were to get a job from the help this resource provided them, they would continue associating you with the feelings of happiness they felt. This is networking. This is how you make life-changing friendships.
Think of this as the untold guide to making connections that matter.
The rest of this article describes the changes I made in my approach to relationship-building.
Change #1: Shifting the focus of my networking.
Like many, I used to think that the bigger the person’s title whom I was networking with, the greater the return would be. I failed to realize that it was doubtful I’d ever add value to their lives during a 30-minute conversation. So, quite obviously, I was having a low success rate.
The shift I made was to focus on relationships with people closer to my stage in life. I began looking for new grads and other interns who were accomplishing things I was looking to partake in and fostering connections at that level. This was a lot easier since I could contribute to their lives by making introductions, sharing resources, passing referrals, and giving advice. In turn, they were more likely to reciprocate the gesture. An example of this occurred when I offered to review and help re-write someone’s resume — they referred me to their company shortly after getting hired.
Change #2: Not acting like the gatekeeper.
We’re all guilty of this. It’s hard to surrender your resources to others. Especially those who may not have spent the same effort looking as you. However, if everyone were to think like this, the flow of information would suffer from silo effects. That means nobody, including you, would have access to the number of opportunities that come from communal sharing.
The truth is, someone will always have access to a resource you don’t, and vice-versa. If you want to reap the benefits of amassing both, you’re going to have to learn to share.
Change #3: Feeling empowered by the success of others.
It's 2022, and your entire circle highlights their accomplishments on LinkedIn. X person got a promotion, Y person got a raise, and Z person successfully made the transition you’ve been struggling to make. This constant stream of updates can surface feelings of impostor syndrome, jealousy, or even shame. I’ve been there. I struggle with this too.
However, these feelings often prevent you from building long-lasting relationships with people. People want to feel appreciated, seen, and acknowledged. If you can’t overcome your internal conflict, you’ll struggle to fulfill this desire.
One of the biggest shifts for me came when I began to feel empowered by the success of others. When I see one of my friends achieve something I’ve yet to accomplish, I celebrate as I know it is no longer an unrealistic goal.
By shifting the lens through which I view relationship-building, I’ve achieved much more with less effort. It may have taken two years and a lot of conversations, but hopefully, for you, it won’t have to. The changes I instituted helped me develop as a person, friend, and professional.
Sometimes, our brains are naturally able to make mind-boggling realizations; other times, we become inspired during a mindless twitter scroll.
This piece was written for the Cansbridge Fellowship — a community of mavericks looking to make sense of the world through entrepreneurship.
