The Subjectivity of the Impossible

At the risk of scaring you away with such a cliche beginning, I would like to preface this reflection with a quote from Theodore Roethke — “What we need, is more people who specialize in the impossible”.

If you are still reading, I would first like to thank you for the second chance to convince you of my literary capacity. Next, I would like to convince you that those who specialize in the impossible are the most life-changing individuals you can surround yourself with.

It is no secret that you are impacted by the people you choose to spend your time with. For proof, we need only look at Taylor Swift’s style evolution with each new boyfriend (Please note, I have immense respect for Taylor but that is another essay entirely). Cansbridge fellows have catalyzed my evolution as a person, an innovator, an empath; even before I became a fellow myself. I think this evolution is best documented in a pre, during, and post-fellowship timeline. I’m afraid I offer little advice, rather a ballad of self-growth. 4 chords and the truth, if you will.

Pre-Fellowship

My first interaction with a Cansbridge Fellow occurred summer of 2020. An individual of outstanding character, confidence, and worth ethic such that I had never seen the likes of. Well travelled, professionally experienced, and striving every day to be better. I must admit, there was no part of me that believed in the slightest that I could ever be a person like that. It was an impossible ideal. I had been working at the same coffee shop I had worked at for the last 5 years, was heading toward a career outlined by other people, and was in the process of watching ‘The Office’ for the 5th time. However, after spending more and more time with this person, they rubbed off on me. Suddenly I was running everyday, working hard to expand my network, founding organizations, and was excited for my future. While all those things were wonderful… I think the most wonderful change was that I wasn’t afraid to fail. Why? Because finding true success in any of those things would have been impossible for the Lauren I knew — each step was a step forward.

At this point I’ll say — “It was the best of times, it was the un-best of times”. While I was improving every day, I was terribly embarrassed by my mere 38 LinkedIn connections and have never felt so unaccomplished compared to my network. As it turns out, there are many truths to common idioms; comparison is the thief of joy, and you can only strive to be better than the person you were yesterday. I must admit that I am still working to convince myself of these things today.

Eventually, fall of 2021 came and I attended a Cansbridge info session. I had absolutely no intention of applying, I was just invited to meet friends of friends. However, I was surprised to realize that I was perfectly able to submit an application should I desire. So, I applied (obviously). Asia was still entirely unattainable — a mysterious and magical landscape of vibrant culture, a depth of history I had never known, and a plane ticket that would take many months to afford. In my mind, becoming a Cansbridge Fellow was still impossible. But, as I often say (and as my friends always cringe at) YOLO.

Mid-fellowship

I will spare you the details of the process but (spoiler alert) I became a Cansbridge Fellow. Suddenly I was surrounded by the most incredible people I had ever met; young entrepreneurs, humble geniuses, and people that routinely set impossible goals, just for fun. Imposter syndrome is an understatement.

Heading into the summer, I was terribly unprepared for my journey overseas. I ended up camping overnight outside the Passport Canada office to renew my passport, paying way too much for accommodations in Singapore because I booked so last minute, and doing most of my packing for the 3-month journey the day before. “Lauren…” you may ask, “Why did you do everything so last minute? You knew for months that you were heading to Singapore!”. Because in my mind there was still no way that I was receiving funding to move to Asia and complete a 3-month internship, that would be impossible, it’s just too good to be true. Alas, here we are.

3 weeks into my internship, I had a potentially life-changing discussion on a rooftop bar overlooking the city of Bangkok. This individual who I admired greatly described her draw to those with impossible goals. That night, reflecting on this conversation, I realized that I was not one of those people. In fact, I had already shut the doors to things I was passionate about because I knew that 99% of those that attempted these things were unsuccessful. BUT I already have a leg up on these 99% because I’m surrounded by the most knowledgeable and supportive network of individuals, so what’s my excuse not to chase the impossible?

The most ironic thing of all, is that my internship routinely consisted of convincing other youth that anything is possible. I worked alongside this incredible company that ran entrepreneurship programming for youth under 30 across South East Asia. I had the immense privilege of acting as a coach for 2 international programs where delegates had the opportunity to design and pitch a start-up idea over the course of a week. I met individuals from 12+ different countries and observed how problem identification, team dynamics, and selling strategies vary across regions. I am so, so lucky to have had this opportunity, I learned more about the world during those 2 programs than I had in that last 22 years of life.

During these hackathons, I taught design thinking as it’s commonly described, a multi-hat exercise: green hat = anything goes, no criticism, yellow hat = critical analysis, evolution, red hat = process of elimination to find your ‘winner’. In fact, the picture used at the beginning of this article is during a Design Thinking workshop. The green hat section is the most important, this is where you can propose the impossible. Edible raincoats, AI plant pots, world peace, whatever you want — no one can say “no”.

Oftentimes, first-time entrepreneurs have to be pushed outside the box and learn to not be critical of themselves or their ideas. Eventually I thought, perhaps this multi-hat exercise is valuable for personal and professional goal setting as well. Too often we use the SMART goals framework as a blanket strategy (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely). Sure, when we describe day-to-day foci, personal growth, SMART makes sense… but what about THE goal, our purpose? Our reason to improve every single day, to cut our times and read more words… why does that have to be realistic?

Post-Fellowship

I am not really “post” Fellowship yet, I’m writing this from Indonesia. It’s been raining for 3-days straight, streets are flooded, and in the absence of distractions I’ve begun to distill the last 3-months. As the summer settles and more themes rise to the top, I’m sure I’ll have much more to add.

For now, I’ll share my next steps for the return to Canada. As many of the other fellows have shared, my future endeavours are going to have a much different focus than I thought they might heading into the internship. I have a better idea of the value of my time, confidence in my knowledge, an understanding of where my gaps are, and a goal that is entirely un-realistic — but I’m excited.

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There is the possibility this reflection has been a waste of your time. I have made no groundbreaking discoveries, I have no patents pending, I don’t have any great advice yet — hopefully someday I will. For now, I will just say that impossibility is subjective. The 13,000 km I travelled between Canada and Asia has brought me much closer to myself that I ever imagined. Just as some infinities are bigger than others, the impossible is only as far out of reach as your mindset allows it to be.

I am forever indebted to those that have made the unattainable, attainable and the impossible, possible. There are 3–4 Fellows in particular that inspire me every day, and that have given me advice (knowingly or unknowingly) that I think about all too frequently. Perhaps, I can one day be that person for someone else.