#1 Capiens: A Brief History of a Multidisciplinary Human Being

Letting go of what I want to be and following who I already am.

Fade Rudman
Capiens
4 min readJul 4, 2018

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Hey there! This is a very beginning of me, sharing my journey as a capable human being. If you’re human — get onboard, it’s going to be a hell of a ride! If you’re like me and prefer listening to reading — you can hear this as an episode on my podcast 📣. Ready? Here we go.

I was born and raised with a clear understanding: if I wish to be really good at something I have to give my full attention to it and practice it to perfection. This perfection was expected out of the box — it comes pre-packaged with being born in a post-soviet family. But there are so many things that I want to do! How do I choose?

And so 31 years later here I am — a son of a pediatrician and an anesthesiologist; happily divorced; a proud dad (“owner” always rubs me the wrong way) of a fantastic creature — a four-year-old German Shepherd named Nala; playing different musical instruments; writing, composing and producing my own music; creating user experience design, managing digital products and teams and advising companies on how to do all these things; volunteering as an Advanced EMT on a free time which I never have, also leading and developing a team of almost 40 other volunteer EMTs as part of my service.

At some point, the paradox of choice between all these things I’ve done in my life has gotten the best of me, and I was completely lost without a compass. How’s that for a dissonance with those expectations for perfection!

Lack of clear purpose to serve turned out to be a very anxiety-friendly experience which I found hard to shake off. Luckily, as they say, when you’re at your bottom, you can only go up.

A couple of months ago, against all the odds, I had decided to let go of trying to figure out what I want to do, and instead reverse-engineer who I already am, examining what drives me in life. It turned out to be my most authentic and exciting decision so far, and a major breakthrough for me.

I’m “Capiens”!

Finally, it clicked — both my driving elements, captured in a single word:

Capiens — \ ˈca-pē-ənz , ˈcā- , -ˌenz \ adj. — more capable and more human; An advanced state compared to a homo sapiens.

Don’t bother reaching out for vocabulary, I made this one up.

This definition led me to the following commitments:

  1. Gather more capabilities as long as I can while staying human and aligned with my values
  2. Understand the nature and impact of human skills and achievements on people’s minds, lives, and relationships
  3. Share this journey and my thoughts and insights from it with as many people as possible, hopefully inspiring others to become capiens too and helping you with your journeys.

Here are some of the subjects I’ll be covering:

Becoming Capable

I’m steadily broadening my horizons by gathering non-digital skills which develop my physical, cognitive and motoric abilities, and I’m having so much fun! Most straightforward examples are woodwork, weightlifting, riding my motorcycle, or just breathing, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I’ll cover each of these in a separate story, so hold on.

As I gather these skills, I’m also re-discovering some fascinating impact they have on my life such as the fulfilling effect of sense of completion, and satisfaction of a varied lifestyle. This is precisely the opposite of where I used to be - working mainly in front of a computer.

For the first time in my life, I’m out of the numbness loop, where my knowledge was developing but wasn’t getting me any closer to happiness.

Staying Human

I’m learning how to listen better, how to manage my ego, respond thoughtfully, how to treat people with dignity, be patient, allow myself and others to make mistakes, and how to create meaningful relationships in the process. There will be a story on all of these too.

Income

Well, this is scary. I’m used to a start-up level income and stability, so I’m out of my comfort zone here. I’m taking the gap risking my savings, investing them in freedom to explore, open to making a living from anything and everything that I’m capable of. I’ll talk a lot about money and its meaning in our lives.

My journey begins here

The mission is on, and I’m willing to share it with everyone who wishes to be capiens. It’s going to be both written here and recorded as a podcast for those of you who prefer listening to reading (as I do, there’s a story on it too). I’ll probably come up with even more ways to distribute this knowledge later on.

Where does this road lead? Honestly — I have absolutely no idea, and I love it!

‘Till next time!

Stay up to date by liking the Capiens Facebook page or following me here, on Medium.

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Fade Rudman
Capiens
Editor for

Empathy advocate, experience designer, musician, volunteer EMT.