When 1x1 Never Comes
“Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke Him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” - Luke 17:3-4 KJV
Forgiveness is deeper than we think. We must forgive others and wipe out the file of offense. We think that this person who hurt us must be held accountable; they must apologize for what they have done especially regarding family or church members who should love us the most.
David, a young man in the book of Samuel in the Holy Bible, had an enemy named Saul who tried to kill him simply because he was envious of him. The Lord allowed Saul to fall into David’s hands twice, but David spared his enemy’s life because he feared the Lord. However, he confronted Saul.
Then Saul said, “I have sinned. Return, my son David. For I will harm you no more, because my life was precious in your eyes this day. Indeed I have played the fool and erred exceedingly.”-1 Samuel 26:21 KJV
But guess what, though Saul apologized when he was confronted, some people never will. They will never apologize because they do not think they are wrong. We hope—and wait—and expect that one day this person who offended us will suddenly express that they are sorry for the pain that they have caused us. With ready arms, we will pour out all the forgiveness we have been storing up for that long-awaited moment. But it never happens. What results is bitterness. We cross the person’s path and as they chirp happily about their life, we wait, hoping that the words “I am a jerk. I am sorry.” will come passionately pouring out of their mouth. Yet when it doesn’t, we get angry and a bit sarcastic. This is bitterness. This is how we become the offended who becomes the offender. We become the offender because we open the door to the devil. You have heard the saying, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” Therefore, God will not choose between two wrongs.
But what about the person who continues to offend you? The best action to take is to tell them of their offense. Remember, the Lord says, “Take heed to yourselves…” in Luke 17:3-4. However, do not expect them to apologize because chances are, they will not. Therefore, we can continue to bring it to their attention when they do it but it is important not to expect a result from them. Do not hold on to the expectation and do not hold onto the offense. When they commit the offense, it will be fresh rather than an old wound. You may find over time that by letting go of the offense after each occurrence and bringing it to the person’s attention, it will become trivial. If it is not trivial, then what we are looking at are individual opportunities for that person to repent before the Lord (not necessarily before us). However, you are remaining harmless and pure in heart although you may be taken advantage of. Long-suffering is what it is. Long. Suffering.
We look again at David who knew that though Saul apologized, he still had to flee from him. He still had to watch his back and pray for him. He honored him because the Lord chose Saul, yet we also must remember to honor all people so that they will see the love of God. We also should honor our Christian brothers and sisters that when they hurt us, God will repay us with the kindness and humility that we demonstrate when dealing with them. David said,
“May the Lord repay every man for his righteousness and his faithfulness; for the Lord delivered you into my hand today, but I would not stretch out my hand against the Lord’s anointed. And indeed, as your life was valued much this day in my eyes, so let my life be valued much in the eyes of the Lord, and let Him deliver me out of all tribulation.” -1 Samuel 26:23-24 KJV
Before being radically saved, though I thought I was a Christian, I owned a business where this Christian woman would come by, but as soon as she walked in the door, I hated her. She just plain got on my nerves. But she would smile largely and smother me with love. One day, the Lord spoke to me and said, “Why are you so mean to her?” I thought to myself that that was a good question since she was so nice to me and I always tended to be an extremely nice person. Therefore, I immediately changed and when she came in to book an appointment with me, I was very nice to her and then I asked her if she would have lunch with me sometime. I knew she was a Christian but her answer jarred and bewildered me. “Nope.” She said in confident defiance. The first thing that raced into my mind after she left was, “Some Christian she is.”
Everyone makes mistakes. However, if she realized that God was working on me because of her love and that He was setting it up so that she would have a great opportunity to begin to minister to me, she would have reacted differently. Instead, she became bitter because she thought she was heaping coals on my head but my heart softened instead. We have to remember that we are loving people for the purpose of bringing them to Christ or building them up in Christ. We will suffer for it.
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Originally published in Devotion Magazine™ Spring 2013 Issue
