Clunk
Finn finds out that it doesn’t matter whether the glass is half full or half empty, what’s important is keeping a grip.
‘There she was’ had come to signify Meg’s absence, not her presence, and though their relationship had, at least for the previous two months, been defined by a mutual absence, its end was defined one afternoon by two beers landing with a satisfying clunk.
Is there any sweeter sound? So full of promise, the dull thud of a fresh pint hitting the table overflows with possibilities and heralds a journey into the unknown, especially when followed by a friendly clink. Finn smiled. Anything could happen after that first sip and he had no hesitation in taking it.
‘So what happened last night?’ asked Jack, eyes lingering on the table of girls nearby. ‘Were you with the others?’
‘Nah, they went home so I caught up with some other people.’ Finn followed Jack’s gaze. ‘You don’t know them.’
‘Where’d you end up?’
‘Man, it’s pretty funny.’ Finn set his beer down on the coaster. ‘I woke up naked on a couch in this random apartment.’
‘Whose apartment?’
‘Dunno. I opened my eyes and there were toys on the floor.’
Jack leaned in. ‘Like, sex toys?’
‘No dude, like, kids’ toys. Dinosaurs and shit.’
‘Who do you know with kids?’
‘No-one.’
Jack put his beer down. Clunk. ‘Wait, what?’
‘I know. It’s not good.’
Jack looked back at the girls and smiled. ‘Know what my favourite kind is?’
‘Of kid?’
‘Dinosaur.’
Finn waited.
‘Lickalottapuss,’ laughed Jack.
‘You’re a dickhead,’ said Finn, ‘and your sex life went extinct with the dinosaurs.’
‘Well played,’ said Jack.
‘My clothes were next to the couch so I got up and put them on,’ Finn continued. ‘Then I just called out.’
‘What’d you say?’
‘Hello.’
‘Is it me you’re looking for?’ Jack smirked. ‘Sorry mate, but you do realise most people say that before they enter a house, right? Not once they’ve spent the night there.’
Finn shrugged. ‘There were children’s drawings on the fridge too, and bunk beds upstairs.’
‘You went upstairs?’
‘I needed a shit.’
‘You’re fucked.’
‘Maybe.’ Finn lifted his beer and examined it in the light. He’d never held anything so perfect; never had anything fit so well in his hand except, perhaps, the countless other beers he had held before.
‘Then I left.’
‘You took a shit and left?’
‘Better than taking a shit and not leaving,’ said Finn. ‘And way better than leaving without taking a shit at all.’
‘True. But how did you get there?’
‘Can’t really say. I had to unlock the front door to leave, but the balcony door was open when I woke up, so I guess I must’ve climbed in. I kinda remember being too tired to walk home and just, you know, thought I’d try my luck. It was only on the first floor.’
‘But what if the family was home?’
‘Yeah, I dunno. Uncle Finn’s home?’ He laughed, but Jack stayed silent, pushing the wet coaster around the table.
‘Y’know Finn, this is actually kinda messed up.’
‘Yeah…’ Finn trailed off, his silence mixing with the dregs of his beer. Empty. ‘Uno mas?’ he asked. Jack nodded. It was their safe word — safe words — uno mas. One more.
There was always one more. Even on days when there should’ve been one less, there was one more. One more was about taking charge, about owning your destiny, about living with no regrets. One less was weak. Future Finn looked over his shoulder, shaking his head.
Clunk. It was Jack’s turn to smile. ‘Is there any sweeter sound?’ he asked. Clink.
Finn looked out the window. Backpackers crammed into the Irish pub across the road, uncaring — or maybe unaware — that it was Sunday night. Finn liked living here. It reminded him of travelling, of waking up each day not knowing where he might end up, or who he might end up with.
‘Oi,’ Jack interrupted. ‘I said what time does she arrive?’
‘Who?’
‘Meg. Isn’t she flying in today?’
Finn checked his watch. She was due at his house any minute. Fuck. He still had half a beer left. ‘Yeah, she should be here in an hour. I better get going.’ He finished his beer in two gulps. ‘Uno mas?’
‘Enjoy the break.’ Jack waved him off. ‘And Finn—I never thought I’d say this, but stay away from the children.’
‘Yeah righto.’
Finn walked around the corner, out of sight, and broke into a sprint. Maybe she was late. Why did he have one more? He was fucked, and not in the way he should be after two months apart from Meg. He checked his phone as his street came into view. Two missed calls. Three messages.
‘There she is!’ he called out, arms stretched out towards her. And there she was. Or at least, there was a version of her, a version that looked exactly as he remembered, just with puffy red eyes. She looked beautiful though, sat there in the driveway on her pink suitcase. Beautiful, but crumpled too, like the clothes she finally agreed to unpack that night.
‘There she was’ turned out to be a pretty good description of the relationship, if you could call it that. As far as ships go, it was abandoned, the relations kept afloat more out of habit than desire. As far as ships go, Future Finn’s had come in only to be torpedoed, sunk by a unseen threat that had just begun to surface.
