5 tips on how to bounce back from a career setback

Once I have heard that the world belongs to the top performers. The ones who consistently hit all the targets, over-achieve, and go beyond expectations. They are those who get all the promotions and receive all the pats on their backs. They are the heroes of the modern age. They shall never stumble or fail; otherwise, they are running a serious risk of being dethroned from the imaginary throne of high performance. And what a shame it would be!

I have been trying to be one of them for a huge chunk of my professional career. I have been running in the corporate hamster wheel and blindly chasing others’ expectations and, most of all, my very own unrealistic expectations of myself. I managed to be quite good at that and a lot of times ended up performing beyond the standard. For me, the road to career success seemed pretty straight-forward and pawed with golden appraisals from my managers. I was a real high-performer…until I wasn’t. Some time ago, the boy who had only known the glory hit the wall. The wall that a lot of us hit throughout our careers. It makes us feel stuck and doubt our very own ourselves. Sometimes it seems impossible to break through, and we are about to give up. We feel stuck with no hope.

I have been there and managed to climb over that wall, and now I am back on track. Although not the same. Some part of me stayed behind forever, and honestly, I am happy about that. I am back with a fresh point of view and motivation I haven’t felt for years. For all those experiencing a career setback, I will share a few tips on what helped me bounce back. And I hope they will help you as well…

Dare to share

If you are a little bit like me, you don’t want to talk about what’s not going well. You are probably used to sharing only successes and impressing your friends with your achievements. So, when something is not going well, you feel like you might spoil that perfect image you have been so carefully building. You don’t share when you struggle. Instead, you keep it for yourself, hoping that it will pass. But let me tell you something, it won’t.

When I had had enough, I dared to share my struggle with a long-time friend. I had shared with him only my success stories until that time, so I had no idea how he would perceive my setback. However, he was very understanding and even gave me a few tips from his own experience. It actually brought us closer together. And all in all, it was a great feeling finally letting it all go. It felt like the load I had been carrying suddenly felt a little bit lighter. Now I share way more often, especially my setbacks and struggle. I would suggest you do the same. Find a colleague, friend, or family member and talk, talk and talk about your struggles. I guarantee that after the initial fear or a bit of shame, it will feel just great.

Take a break

I like holidays. After a longer one, I always feel refreshed and ready to do my best. So when I hit rock bottom, I decided to spend some quality time with my family. And the word “quality” was essential here. I decided to take two weeks off with no connection to my work messages or email. I turned off all the notifications and made a promise to myself not to look into anything work-related until my vacation was over. I was leaving some unfinished projects behind, and the urge to check my email was really strong, but I resisted…day by day. Until I completely forgot. Together with the talks with my family, it was the best therapy. When I got back, I felt refreshed, and everything seemed more manageable. I was getting back on track. If you feel stuck and nothing works, take some time off. But a quality time off. Turn off all the notifications and immerse yourself in something else.

Find a mentor

Although I was getting back on track, I knew that having just a break wasn’t enough. I still lacked my previous motivation and execution. Even the most trivial tasks were complex for me to perform, and I won’t even mention those difficult projects that required creative problem-solving. Literally impossible! I knew I needed a fresh pair of eyes, ideally, from somebody who had already seen and done that before. Encouraged by already sharing my struggles, I decided to approach one of my more experienced colleagues to become my mentor. He happily agreed, and from that moment, we were meeting bi-weekly to discuss my projects. His advice was priceless, and I slowly regained the confidence I had lost. I was able to fine-tune my business plans and slowly started getting the results I once had. And that gave me even more confidence. When you feel stuck, seek mentors. It could be your close colleague or colleague from a different team. Or even somebody outside of work. Let their experience and advice guide you, and you will soon start walking more confidently. Step by step…

Be kind to yourself

When we are not doing well, we often think of the worst. At least I used to do it. I was re-playing the doomsday scenarios over and over again. Multiple times I saw myself being fired or another kind of similar non-sense. My self-judgment was too harsh and prevented me from fully bouncing back. “I was a top performer, and I was not supposed to have bad moments. “It is not me,” I was telling myself. It felt to me that after this down moment, I won’t be taken seriously anymore. No more high performance — no more glory. When I look back at it with a fresh pair of eyes, I know that everybody can have bad moments. We are not machines, after all. But sometimes, we expect ourselves to be, and that’s where the problem lies. I started journaling and capturing all these thoughts so later I could see how absurd they were. One of my managers used to say: “Kindness is magic,” and in this case, it can’t be more accurate. When the negative thoughts creep in your head, stop for a while and take a breath. Remind yourself of what you have already achieved. Write down all the evil thoughts if necessary, and they will slowly start losing their power. And soon, you will look at them with a smile on your face. That kind of genuine smile will create wrinkles around your eyes. Because it’s going to be real.

Find a passion outside of work

These days work takes a huge chunk of our lives — more than it should. Often, we feel drained, and after work, we simply order some food and do the famous Netflix-and-chill. That’s nothing wrong with that until it becomes the only thing that keeps us sane after work. Because when the work stuff doesn’t go well, then binge-watching won’t save us. It won’t be there to tell us that we are still rocking it on another front despite the setback at work. Just before my setback, I picked up calisthenics, a form of urban gymnastics. I was only a beginner, but my daily progress kept me motivated, and it was often that moment of exercise after work that was keeping me sane. Because I saw progress and improvement. I noticed that I can still be a top performer somewhere and that my effort counts. And while working out, I could turn off that constant alert mode I was on. I believe that it helped me push through. So in case you haven’t yet picked up a hobby, it’s a good time to start now. Be it music, fitness, cooking, painting, or decorating wooden boxes. And let your craft shine when the days get dark.

These 5 steps helped me to bounce back. I still have some days when I don’t feel like it, and my old thoughts creep in. But now I know they will pass if I…

• dare to share
• take a break
• find a mentor
• be kind to myself
• pursue my passion

Good luck, and in case you are interested in more advice and coaching Career Bolders is here to help. Just reach out :)