How To Be Assertive Without Being a Jerk
You deserve to speak and to be heard. Here’s how to do it without burning bridges
When I started out in my first job, I was too confrontational. Having essentially raised myself from the age of 12, I wasn’t ready to be told what to do. I pushed back, followed my gut, and stood my ground on most things.
Luckily for me, I worked with a bunch of people who had no issues putting me in my place. Talk about a rude awakening. Eventually, I became the opposite, rarely pushing back or arguing for fear of upsetting others or causing problems.
It took me years to get back to a point where I felt comfortable setting boundaries and asserting myself. I’ve had to learn the hard way about how to balance being assertive without being a total jerk. But it is possible.
Possible does not mean easy
A lot of people label others as assertive as an insult. As if it’s somehow anti-social to do so.
And while some people are jerks and assholes when they stick up for themselves, not everyone is. In fact, it’s just as possible that the listener has misinterpreted it this way because of their own insecurities, lack of assertiveness, or the misunderstanding that someone else standing their ground on an issue…
