How to Overcome Career Confusion: From Paralysis to Progress
How one simple technique can help you regain hundreds of lost hours
Have you ever felt lost in your career? Waves of panic that you have ended up in the wrong job, industry, or country?
Me too — all the time.
But here is how I learned to navigate my dreaded Career Confusion.
The ice cream chronicles: My first career dream
When I was a kid, I sold ice cream. I loved everything about that job: being outdoors, making people happy, and making lots of money for my age. The list could go on. The stall was owned by a local businessman, and I looked up to him. He was the titan of frozen dairy in my eyes — an entrepreneur.
I thought that was the career for me, a lifetime in a small enterprise, sharpening my wits against all the problems small businesses face. It made sense to my thirteen-year-old self. I was going to take the ice cream world by storm.
And then I got my exam results.
I was told my grades were too good not to pursue higher education, so I left behind the hustle of the street stalls and got a degree. I was the first in my family.
The birth of career confusion
It was after I graduated that I had my first full-on bout of career confusion. Although I didn’t have a name for it back then. The entrepreneur in me wanted to resist the corporate world, but the allure of instant cash from banking was strong. My entire life had been about working hard and thriving in an informal environment. And so the questions began. Was I really going to wear a suit and tie sitting at a desk all day? But the money was so good? What if I went back home and sold ice creams again? Was finance for me? I didn’t even know what the square mile was.
The hours turned into days, and the days turned into weeks. I had no way of making this decision. I was stuck in a doom loop of “what ifs” and needed a way out.
But before that, let’s delve deeper into career confusion and why it’s on the up.
Understanding career confusion: symptoms and causes
The easiest way to describe career confusion is via its symptoms. In extreme cases, it presents as a near-endless stream of second-guessing. Questions about your career that lead nowhere. They tend to start as reasonable considerations but often grow into wild, off-piste mental ramblings.
Should I…
…change jobs this year?
…get a higher salary?
…emigrate to Australia?
What if I…
…Launched that start-up?
…Retrained as a cat masseuse?
…I packed it all in, sold forex online, an hour a day and moved to Dubai.
Have you ever felt unsure about your professional path, questioned whether you’re in the right job or industry, or even had feelings of doubt or dissatisfaction with your working life? You have probably experienced a bout of career confusion.
There are many causes, and the incidence is on the rise.
Mismatched expectations: what you thought work might be vs. what it is.
Changing interests: I was adamant that I wanted to be a fireman at age 8.
Pressures to perform: In a world where success is a badge of honour, it’s hard to keep up.
Endless opportunities: The world feels so full of “opportunity” these days
What do these do? They create waves of FOMO that can knock even the most career-confident individuals off course. If your sea wall isn’t up to the task, one wave too many can send you into a negative cycle of confused questioning. In an ocean of social media, globalisation, and AI-backed get-rich-quick schemes, you don’t stand a chance.
But surely there is some good in curiosity?
Okay, okay, you’re right. It’s not all doom and gloom. A healthy dose of questioning and career consideration can be a helpful tool. But like everything in life, it’s about balance. It helps if you have a system to use instead of going in blind. Why? Because you don’t have time to consider opportunities that turn out to be as real as the Elvis Tribute act you saw last weekend.
To make matters worse, a nasty period of career confusion is like a vice, its grip too tight to escape. They become bouts of paralysis caused by second-guessing every choice. It’s like Groundhog Day, and you’re unable to make progress.
Sound familiar? There is no judgment here. I do this all the time. I stand with you, and I want to help.
Introducing the GROW Model
This is coaching 101. But sometimes, the simplest models work the best. So the next time you feel the allure of career confusion on the horizon, use GROW.
The model was first published in 1992 by John Whitmore in his book “Coaching for Performance.” I have amended it slightly to maximise impact. Over the years, I’ve seen it work wonderfully, both in my coaching practice and myself.
There are two stages to using this model for career confusion.
Stage one — calibrate:
This is the hardest part of the process. But it will save you a lot of time in the long run. It’s worth the thirty minutes of thinking time.
Step 1: Goal Check
What is most important to you over the next year? These goals can be specific or broad. Consider money, title, work-life balance, and adventure all through your career lens.
Step 2: Current Reality
Consider this a career audit. Where do you currently stand? Job, wage, qualifications, title, skills, network, strengths and weaknesses. Be as honest as you can. Before assessing new opportunities, you must know exactly where you stand.
Stage two — GROW in action:
With your goal and reality defined, you can make better judgements. Every time a new opportunity catches your attention, use the method below to evaluate it. The earlier you catch the idea, the less likely the wave will breach your defences.
Goal: Does this new opportunity align with your key goals for the year? If yes, proceed.
Reality: How feasible is this opportunity, given your current reality? Be honest about your circumstances and limitations. Continue if you think it can be done.
Options: Consider your options. If the opportunity aligns with your goals and is feasible, what concrete steps can you take to pursue it?
Will: Finally, assess your commitment. Do you have the drive and desire to follow through? If not, it’s time to put this idea to rest.
A real-life example: My graduate dilemma
There I was, a graduate facing a huge decision. Should I try my luck as an entrepreneur or sign my soul over to the corporate world?
I wish I had the GROW model back then. Here is how it might have looked.
Stage one — calibrate:
Goal Check: What was most important to me over the next year? Financial stability or pursuing my passion?
Current Reality: I was a fresh graduate with good grades but no real-world business experience. I had student loans to repay and a desire for financial independence.
Stage two — GROW:
Corporate Job
Goal: Did this align with my short-term goal of financial stability? Yes.
Reality: Given my qualifications and the job market, was it feasible? Absolutely.
Options: What steps could I take? Apply for graduate schemes and network within the industry.
Will: Did I have the drive to pursue this? Yes, the university made it easy.
Entrepreneur
Goal: Did this align with my passion for running my own business? Yes.
Reality: Did I have the resources and experience to start a business right now? Probably not.
Options: What steps could I take? This was hard; nothing jumped out at me, and I was in debt.
Will: Was I committed enough to take on the risks of entrepreneurship at that stage in my life? I wasn’t sure.
Not only would I have saved a lot of time, but I would have made a much more informed decision and probably prevented my next bout of self-doubt. Instead, I jumped into the corporate world, lured by the promise of quick money. Part of me felt I had ignored my calling, even though that opportunity was not a real option back then. Using the model would have helped me put the false hope to bed. It probably would have prevented the next bout of confusion that crept up on me a couple of years into my 80-hour work weeks. It certainly would have aided me through it.
Does this battle ever end?
I had at least five extreme bouts of career confusion in my first decade at work. But since using this model, the burden has eased. I no longer enter the vice-like grip every couple of years. Instead, I use GROW to regain clarity and focus on what is real. I have saved hundreds of hours.
Assessing your career options will always be a challenge. But GROW will help you filter out the noise, cut off the voice of false reality, and save you time — time you can spend doing anything else with your life.
The power of the written word
I cannot emphasise this enough. Every time you go through this process, write the answers down. The power of the written word in personal development is understated. Thoughts are like seeds, full of potential. But only when you write things down can they grow into something tangible. The GROW model tests for concrete options, and they are easier to evaluate with words on the page. Trust me on this.
Conclusion: Embrace the journey, take control with GROW
There are some things we can’t avoid, and second-guessing career choices feels like one of them. With the world of social media, endless opportunities and high pressure to succeed, the hurdle for confident career choices keeps increasing. But rather than letting this get in the way of progress, see each question as a chance to reflect, recalibrate and grow. The model presented here provides a quick method of determining whether or not an idea you have has legs. If it does, great, go and explore it. But if it doesn’t, that is your cue — the sign to pop those wasteful wandering thoughts back on the shelf.
As you continue your career journey, don’t let confusion bog you down. You have the power to break free. Take control, use GROW, and start making empowered decisions that align with your goals.
Your GROW challenge
So, are you ready to break free from the career confusion loop? Here’s a challenge for you:
Grab a notebook and a pen/open a Doc
Spend the next 15 minutes writing down your current priorities and reality.
Goal Check:
What is most important to you over the next year? Think, money, title, work life balance, adventure etc. all through the lens of your career.
Current Reality:
Perform a career audit. Where do you stand? Job, wage, qualifications, title, skills, network, strengths and weaknesses. Be as honest as you can.
That’s the hard yards done. Now, you’re ready to run your potential opportunities through GROW.
You’ve got this.
Let me know in the comments how you get on.
