“If it were meant for you, it would be easy.” Says who?

I hear people say that things shouldn’t be that hard or that difficult. That if things were meant for you, they would come easy.

As someone who is reinventing herself and has started a new career, I often find things ARE difficult and hard. There are days when it feels like I’m climbing a vertical mountain and the muscles are aching to find a foothold.

So when I hear the sentiment that things shouldn’t be “that hard”, I sometimes panic. I begin to question whether this thing is “for me”, and maybe it’s smarter to just go back where I came from.

This has been on mind lately, hence this bit of an essay here.

I think it’s a dangerous message to spread around, especially if it’s not put in perspective.

Certainly, we can make things easier for ourselves by not getting in our own way, by developing good habits, and employing hack tips. We can make life easier by choosing activities that are aligned with our values and priorities. We can make things easier by asking for help, or delegating, or outsourcing some tasks.

We can make life easier for us by not getting involved, never speaking up, not sticking our necks out for anyone.

And here’s one. We can definitely make things easier for ourselves by quitting every time we encounter an obstacle.

Winning and achieving anything requires hard work.

And often, on the road to winning, you encounter difficult things. That’s a fact.

To finish a marathon, you have to train yourself. You have to build your stamina and run, even when you don’t want to. Even when you’d rather stay in bed or read a good book under a pile of warm blankets. That’s hard.

To start up a restaurant requires a lot of hard work. You have to find the right location, you have to find the capital, you have to find the right kitchen staff, you have to find the right suppliers. You have to find the right ‘hook’ to get people in the door to try your food and discover that they love it. All that looking and finding? That’s hard work.

To finish medical school requires years of studying and training to become the kind of health practitioner in whose hands a stranger would be willing to put their life and health one day.

To implement a global information system requires a lot of hard work from a lot of people, and often a lot of technically difficult tasks to complete.

To cook a mean turkey and host Thanksgiving dinner is hard for someone who’s never done it before and who doesn’t even own a roasting pan (hey, don’t judge).

To put yourself out there in a way that you’ve never done before requires a lot of hard, often difficult, work on your part to overcome your inner critic with that nasty negative voice.

So, here’s where I land on this topic:

Nothing worth achieving is easy. Everything takes work. Hard work. Often, difficult work.

There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re finding certain things are difficult.

There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re finding certain tasks are hard.

Don’t, when you run into walls and obstacles, use that (“because if it were meant for you, it’d have been easy”) as the excuse for quitting.

Don’t allow yourself to feel inferior by people who are saying things should not be that hard or that difficult. Define ‘that’ anyway. What’s easy for them may be difficult for you, and vice versa.

Hey, everybody’s welcome to look for their own unicorns.