The Space Between — Finding Clarity on the Path to Reinvention

As much as I miss the people I used to work with, and especially that pay check every two weeks, I have to admit that my former job had been toxic for years, and it was probably killing me. I’ve needed to get out of there for a while, though it would have been nice to leave on my own terms. Getting laid off hurts. But I might never have left without a push, because I’m loyal and I don’t give up, and sometimes I get stuck.

I’m ready to do something different. I don’t want to do what I did for 30 years to make a pay check and pay the bills. What exactly the next thing should be for me, I have no freaking idea. That’s not true. I have vague ideas and fantasies and a whole lot of random thoughts that aren’t amounting to much.

So now I am interested in the stories of people who have successfully reinvented themselves, because I want to reinvent myself. I can think of a few famous ones off the top of my head: Al Franken — a comedian and actor who became U.S. Senator from Minnesota. Other actors turned politicians come to mind — Arnold Schwarzenegger and Ronald Reagan. And there are a lot of actors and musicians who have famously changed directions. You can search the internet and find a lot of stories like this. People do it. It can happen.

The Story of Rick

This noodling around brought up the memory of a guy I just to work with, Rick. When I was first starting out 23 years ago with the company that eventually laid me off, I met Rick, who at that time was the receptionist and pretty much the office clown. He had been an actor for years and needed a “real” job after his first child was born. As a receptionist, Rick was pretty much a screw-up. They moved him into an office-services role, and he floundered there for a while too. Rick was funny and boisterous and seemingly not ambitious. It never occurred to me that Rick could so spectacularly reinvent himself.

Rick started his change by applying for an IT technician job in the office. He had no IT background mind you, no college degree, no experience with technology. He did however, it turns out, have unwavering belief in himself, and a latent passion for computer technology. He took some classes, earned some certificates, and talked his way into the job. It only took him two years as a staff technician to get himself promoted to the supervisor. So, pretty good story so far. But it doesn’t end there.

Rick had a different vision for himself. He didn’t want to be back-office administration. He saw an opening in one of our business groups for a utilities consultant selling technology solutions to our clients and put his mind to getting it. And he did. I have no idea how he convinced the hiring manager to give him a chance when he had no background in utility solutions or client management, but he did it.

A few years passed, and it turned out he was pretty good at working with clients, because, well he was funny and personable and clients liked him. What he lacked in technical skill, he made up for with interpersonal acumen, and gradually learned what he needed to learn on the technical side. He left the company a few years ago to become a senior executive at a local utility, i.e., one of our clients. Pretty good for the office clown.

Some Lessons in Self Reincarnation

Capitalize on your innate skills: Don’t discount those qualities that are part of your personal DNA just because they come easy to you. Rick had some foundational skills going for him — his personality, his ability to communicate and be persuasive, a knack for pulling functional teams together, and supreme confidence that he could learn whatever he needed to learn to do the job. And he did learn. He took every class he needed, got himself experience, and found mentors to train him along the way.

Believe: Rick’s confidence translated into belief that he could and would do what he set out to do. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought about him. He had the necessary self-belief to make the change. When you really believe in what you’re doing, that belief is obvious to others, and they are more likely to accept the premise that yes, you can do it.

Self-doubt is not something you can hide. That old saying, “Fake it till you make it,” sounds good and might take you a little of the way down your path, but real success is going to come when you really believe. Even in the face of early failures, you have to get to the point where you know it’s just a matter of time and hard work until you will succeed. If you don’t have belief now, what will it take to get there? You can take classes and get some entry level experience you need. Work on getting some incremental successes under your belt as you move forward. Gradually build up to that state of full self-belief that you will get what you want and you deserve it.

The Space Between

Clarity: Another key for Rick was clarity. He had a vision for what he wanted to be and set out to make it happen. And right now, in my life, this is where I’m struggling. Before I can move forward I need to know exactly what I want. Defining with as much specificity as possible what I’m looking for is the key to all of this. I am certain I can get anything I set my mind on. I just don’t know what that is, and going for something vague and unformed will just be a waste of time.

So, I’m in an incubation period, and I have to give myself the space to percolate. This is my In Between Time, the Space Between that old thing I used to be for 30 years and the new thing I’m going to be. I’m in the pause before the next thing.

It’s easy to feel pressure to do something right now, to find a job, any job. I feel that pressure. I feel that gnawing need to make some money and to be productive. I can’t waste today! What have I done with myself? In some ways, it’s like a relationship breakup where your next hookup is maybe the rebound, but not the soulmate. I don’t want a rebound job. I can always find a job. I want a calling. I’m lucky to have a few months of severance funding to allow myself some time. I’m also a little older now so other pressures are no longer a factor, like raising kids and saving for college tuition.

Passion: Whatever I decide to do I have to feel passionate about it. Joseph Campbell said it best, “Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” I’m trying to remember all the things in my life I used to be energized about, which for some reason I let go of in order to make a living and meet my family obligations. When I was in college, what idealistic vision did I have for myself? Thinking about all those old passions, what still resonated now? Where is the heat?

This is about being intentional. I’m not willing to just fall into the next job that comes along. What is my vision for me going to be? I don’t know right now, and that is the problem, hence the need for incubation, while I learn and observe and pay attention to what feels right. I’m going to try some different things, say yes when I usually say no, engage with people and listen.

I have faith that eventually something will happen that will be the spark, the big idea that I can formulate a vision around. Until then, well, here I am. The Space Between is where you are going to find me while I figure this out.