Being “Let Go” — & How I See it as a Fancy Way of Being Broken Up With By Your Employer

In a discussion with one of my good friends (who was also a former partner in undergraduate course work at MSU), I was explaining how this new transition I’m going through has been extremely rough on me — mentally. In simple terms, being ‘let go’ from a job is like getting broken up with, no matter how it happens. Even if I did want to try something new, and even if this lay off came at excellent timing (which in my case, NOPE it didn’t), it’s still one of the biggest challenges I’ve come to face post-graduation.

It’s said that the stress levels one gets from being ‘let go of’ in a career setting ranks pretty highly (up with death in the family, divorce and serious illness). *PHEW* so I guess that means I’m not crazy or over-reacting… right?

I know I’m only 23, so divorce isn’t something I’m familiar with, and losing a job I much enjoyed while having a family to support or a mortgage to pay isn’t something I truly understand, but it was still an emotional process that I hadn’t prepared for.

Thankfully though, it happened quickly. One minute I was responding to client emails and asking how my boss’s trip went; the next moment I was being told my journey had come to an end and no, I didn’t need to stay the day, and yes, I can collect all my things and just leave my key on the way out. They said it wasn’t my work and nothing personal, but shit, it sure felt personal.

My daily routine would be altered. Our long evening phone conversations would cease to exist. I’ll have to try to erase my desk phone number from my head, and we’ll somehow have to figure out if we can still be friends.

I was mentally sucker-punched as if it HAD been an actual break-up, yet there was nothing to do but bow my head (and attempt at a cordial exit with a red nose and make up trailing down my face) and move on. But much like an actual break up, moving on was something I couldn’t yet fathom. I was confused, sad, depressed, angry. Among everything, I felt like a failure.

After time and a long talk with my father (who is now an entrepreneur, after being laid off from a company he was with for over 20 years), I started to feel ok again. Don’t get me wrong, the feelings took a while to dissipate; and even still, when I have enough time to think about the day and recall how it happened, it stings. HOWEVER, I’m surviving — and I plan on continuing to do so. I’ve had offers and I’m weighing my options.

In the interim, I wanted to leave you with a few things to keep in mind if you (like me) have been laid off, or are unfortunately anticipating being let go of.

1. It’s not you; it’s them. USUALLY speaking anyway. Our economy isn’t in a good state. There’s budget cuts, failing businesses, and a long battle to the success of any company. Many businesses are cutting corners to make ends meet or to make the uphill trudge a bit easier.
2. You’re not a failure. It feels like it — you were hired to do your job and improve the company. You were ‘let go’, so you feel like you weren’t capable. This decision is bigger than you though. Often it has no reflection on your performance or skill set.
3. It’s ok to grieve for a certain amount of time. Losing a job is like losing your other half in a relationship. There’s a feeling of loss, hopelessness, confusion, and over-all sadness. This is normal. This is OK.
4. Give yourself time to cope. If you need to lie in bed with a box of chocolates and Netflix, so be it. BUT, do it and be done with it. You need to get up sometime, and nobody needs their new year resolution goal to be even further out of reach (you gym-goers catch my drift).
5. It’ll feel surreal for a short while. I was let go on a Tuesday. After the hours passed where I’d normally be at work, I went about my normal routine, which included coaching my cheerleaders (a good mind block!). When I woke up the next morning at 7am, only to realize I didn’t have anywhere to go, I was dumbfounded.
6. You’ll feel a bit embarrassed. I did. Since I was dumped ..er.. let go of right before the holidays, it was hard to swallow my pride and explain to visiting relatives (who had asked how my job was going) that I no longer had a full-time position.
7. Realize you’re not alone. It may mean nothing at first, but there is a TON of people out there who have recently lost their jobs. They’ll find something new and so will you. Take comfort in knowing this.
8. Things won’t start magically looking up. You’ll have a few great days, but at any given moment, you can get a day that feels just as terrible as the first. Trudge through it.
9. Apply for unemployment ASAP. Unfortunately I couldn’t, because I’m *technically* employed part-time as a cheerleading coach — even though that’s a measly 4 hours per week. There’s no shame in filing for unemployment though — especially since your tax dollars pay into it.
10. Do things for yourself. After all, once you’re employed again, you’ll be just as “out of time” as you were while you were previously employed. Doing things for yourself is a positive reinforcement tool, and during this time you’ll need that good energy.
11. Fix your resume. Sell yourself and make it good. You deserve something as awesome as you are.
12. Start the job hunt. I know it’s hard, but the sooner you start thinking about a new opportunity, the quicker you’ll have one.
13. Talk to those in your social network. I’ve found LinkedIn to be extremely helpful. If you can get introduced, SCORE. If you can get tips from industry professionals, listen. You may not get an offer, but you may get advice that leads to one.
14. Practice your skills. If you can help someone out by freelancing, do it. If your mom wants to practice interviewing with you, let her. You need to keep yourself fresh for that phone call that leads to the next chapter of your life.
15. Apply, apply, apply — EVEN IF the job seems out of your league. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen entry-level positions requiring 12+ years of experience. The truth in the matter is, you never know. Take a long shot. It can’t hurt!
16. Don’t get discouraged easily. The job hunt SUCKS. Every day that goes by without a call back, interview set up, or even email telling you that you’re “no longer being considered for so and so position” makes you want to throw in the towel. BUT, someone’s going to get back to you. Stand up to the storm and keep moving.
17. Don’t settle. Know what your options are and explore them. You can’t accept your first offer without seeing what else is out there and you can’t accept a job offering less than what you’re worth. Realize what you want and don’t stop until you get it.
18. Know you’ll get through this. I’m here with you. I can do this. So can you.

God speed.