The #1 reason we are so afraid of the unknown. (And when is this fear gone)

We don’t like to lose what we already have.

We live in our comfort zones, have our jobs, our family lives, we know what we can expect. Sure there will be surprises, but we work hard to limit their number.

We can do it by choosing the conventional life. A life according to a script. A life that many people before us lived. A life in which there are only few, usually quite small, surprises.

Big surprises scare the hell out of most of us. Big surprises are not what most of us signed up for. Living according to the script is supposed to be predictable.

Birth, kindergarten, school, college, job + regular pay checks for the same amount (of course people will want more, but for now they only want to be sure that each month they’ll get X), love, wedding, marriage, kids, retirement at the predetermined age, children’s weddings, births of your grandchildren (great-grandchildren), death.

That’s a scripted life. You can pretty much predict what will happen when. Your parents will eventually die, very likely it will happen before you die. You will eventually die, very likely it will happen before your children die. Other things are also quite easy to predict.

Because most people end up “choosing” the scripted life, or I should say, they are being primed for this kind of life by their parents and other adults (who usually can’t imagine a different life than the one they had) they always have something to lose.

Rejecting the script means potentially losing the chance to live the life where most things are predictable.

If your parents have been preparing you for the scripted life for as long as you can remember, as a teenager you have a lot to lose. And each new year you have more to lose. To the point that in your late 30s (and beyond) you have so much to lose that the sheer thought that you could lose it all one day scares the hell out of you.

People who’ve been deprived of this life they knew very well, on the other hand, have no other choice but to accept/ embrace the uncertainty.

People whose lives have been destroyed by wars, or who escape regimes, do they obsess about the fact that they don’t know the future? No. They run. They want to survive/ escape. They will figure out things later.

Eliminate the fear of losing it all and most people will attempt just about anything. The fear is gone.


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Writing is my oxygen. I write every day. About parenting, career life and the challenges of being a young adult.

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