You don’t understand!
Your parents won’t let you make your own life choices.
They demand. They threaten and guilt-trip you. They use every method from their tool box in order to “persuade” you.
Is it still an unconditional love?
Of course it’s not.
Of course your parents will still tell you (convince you) that they love you unconditionally.
They see it differently.
They have a different understanding of what it means to love unconditionally.
They have a different set of beliefs.
They think that you are ungrateful, because you don’t want to take their advice.
They are romantic about their way of living their lives, and they can’t even imagine someone (let alone their own child) could not want the same great formula.
They think that by questioning their values, approach, way, you also tell them that their values, approach, way sucks shit and that you are better, smarter.
They take it personally.
They obsess about their formula for life being validated by all members of the family.
Just think about it. If someone else doesn’t want this formula, is this formula flawed? Was their way wrong? Are they wrong, or are those who try a different formula wrong? Someone must be wrong.
They are so convinced that they mastered life and that they hold the best formula, that they feel entitled to tell you what to do.
And they feel sad that you don’t understand how important it is that you use their formula. They sacrificed so much.
You don’t understand!
They do everything in their power. Everything they do, they do because they love you so much.
Loving unconditionally doesn’t mean letting you develop your own formula, because letting you develop your own formula means being an irresponsible adult and a bad parent.
You will waste your life if you won’t use their formula and do as they say.
How could they let it happen to you? Their child they love more than anything in this world. A child that will always be their child, and whom they’ll love no matter how much he / she will let them down by not doing what is expected from him/ her.
They will use threats, blackmail, and other dirty tricks. Because they can’t imagine anyone could ever come up with a better formula. Theirs is the best.
Because they can’t let you not have ‘the best’.
That’s what they call an ‘unconditional love’.
So, their take, they love you unconditionally. They will be always able to justify their behavior and tell themselves that they do love you unconditionally.
Besides, don’t we all know for a fact that all parents love their children unconditionally?
Haven’t we all been conditioned to believe only that? To immediately reject other possibilities? To never even dare to question this “truth”? To never even bother raising the question? To assume some things simply are true.
You don’t understand.
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