The Prince (Part 2)
Chapter 1 : Some Definition for The Unwashed Masses
Foreword: When I wrote the first part in the 16th Century, I thought “man, this is so much fun. People will learn from this shiznit and stuff”. Alas, that project was doomed to fail because that book was designed for future readers but the future is the present that haven’t happened yet while the past is just the present that has already happened which will not alter the future. And this is why History is important; if you fail to learn from History you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes. Therefore, without further ado, welcome to “The Prince : Part Deux”.
What is Government?
A Government is a criminal organization that extorts money (aka the pizzo) from the people it is supposed to “protect” to run dubious schemes like waging gang warfare against other nations it does not like… sorta like the Yakuza or the Mafia turf war. If you do not pay this “protection” money (aka TAX like INCOME/GST/VAT), they will cripple or shutdown your business permanently. If you do not have a business, they will cripple or shut YOU down permanently (imagine me saying that last part in Darth Vader’s ominous tone).
A Government is always led by a BOSS who surrounds himself/herself with idiotic Yes-man/woman who spouts “Donate your Billions to me friends, it’s not Money Laundering”. The same Boss who staffed his Cabinet with idiots will also fire staff whom he deemed smarter than the average bear and start to question his methods.
What is a President/Prime Minister/King/Supreme Leader?
They are different word for the same meaning: BOSS. A BOSS, known as Don Capo (Mafia’s term for Boss) or Oyabun (Yakuza’s term for Boss) is the ultimate muthafucka who operates under these Rules:
Rule-1: The Boss is always right.
Rule-2: If the Boss is wrong, see Rule-1.
Rule-3: Those who work get more work. Those who ass-kiss get more pay, perks, and promotions.
Rule-4: If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it by kissing your Bosses’ ass.
Rule-5: When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, They are never talking about themselves.
Rule-6: A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
Rule-7: Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Rule-8: The more crap you put up with, The more crap you are going to get.
Rule-9: In order to get a promotion, You need not necessarily know your job.
Rule-10: In order to get a promotion, You only need to pretend that you know your job.
Rule-11: The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
What is a Politician?
A Politician is an idiot who won the Election Idol by being voted the most believable and good looking/attractive looking liar by promising you a gamut of increased wealth, better education, more freedom, non-stop full action sex, or all of them at once. Sleazy (sleazier than used car salesman), greasy (greasier too) guys/girls in too-tight polyester suits that are trying to take you for a ride, the bat-shit insane campaign that they come up with defies all conventional logic and reason.
What is an Election?
An Election is a beauty and talent contest à la American Idol or America’s got Talent. A Politician goes on Television and sing you a song about increasing wealth in your community, better education for your kids, more freedom of gender expression, non-stop full action gimp domination sex, or all of them at once. Then the Election Commission decides who gets to go on the ballot for stupid viewers to vote on.
As soon as the Politician wins the election, they get their souls sucked out of them and replaced with robot souls that parrot whatever their BOSSes’ said.In short, they turned into the character Gwen DeMarco from Galaxy Quest (except they are not as attractive as Sigourney Weaver).
What is a Voter?
Voters are Sheeple (Sheep People). A Voter/Sheepson (Sheep Person) is someone who voted for the most believable and good looking/attractive looking liar at Election Idol. These poor saps thought they are making their voices heard (BWAAHAHAHAHA) by voting for the best liar. God bless their gullible little hearts. I have no images of Sheeple’s but if you really want to see one, just take a selfie or look in the mirror, have fun!
