COVID-19 and Deferred Grief

Caleb McCary
Caring For Souls
Published in
3 min readMay 8, 2020

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Two years ago I stood in front of a crowd of friends and family at a Southeastern Oklahoma cemetery. I was providing the graveside service for my grandfather’s funeral. It was an incredible honor to be able to speak about him and his impact on me to those who had gathered, but, as anyone in caregiving professions knows, sometimes circumstances make it difficult to process your own grief.

A couple of months after the funeral, I was coming down the stairs in our home and I saw a picture of our oldest child with my dad and grandfather. I went into the living room and sat on the couch and cried for awhile. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized I had never stopped to consider what the loss of my grandfather meant to me personally and the impact it would have on my family. I remember my grandfather well. To my older two children, they will probably have some vague memories of him. My younger two will only know him in pictures and stories.

Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash

I recount that story because I’m encountering people in my work as a Chaplain who have lost loved ones during the COVID-19 pandemic and have had to forego many of the traditional steps that help us work through grief. Some have lost people close to them but are unable to travel to funerals. Some have been able to hold memorial services but the attendance is very limited. There are no large gatherings of family and friends. There are no…

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Caleb McCary
Caring For Souls

Experienced Chaplain. Photography Enthusiast. Lover of learning. Reader of books. Sci-Fi fan.