Photography As Self-Care

Late last year I found myself in an interesting place. I was working at a hospital as a pastoral care provider and during this particular period of time I was covering two of the ICU wards. Each day I would make my rounds to visit with patients and their family members. Each day I would read Scripture, pray, or simply be present with people in various states of sickness, brokenness, or recovery.

As the months wore on, I found myself needing some way to process the hurt and the pain of the people I was encountering on a daily basis. Compassion fatigue is a real thing. Sometimes care providers are the worst at recognizing it in ourselves and we will push ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually until something in us breaks and forces a pause.

I didn’t want to get to that point. So much of what I was seeing was entropy. It was the order of bodily systems being disrupted and broken down. In some cases, entropy won and the person died. In some cases, entropy was slowed but this sort of physical deconstruction would inevitably end in death just as it does for all of us. As I wrestled with seeing so much entropy I felt the urge to do the opposite of entropy. In response to the deconstruction of entropy, I was driven to create. In response to the bleak and antiseptic confines of hospital rooms, I was driven to make something beautiful.

Photography had long been a hobby but I had never intentionally seen it as something that could help me process the challenges of working on an ICU day after day. I want to share…