Hey Youtube, Hit Me Up, I Have an Idea For You.
Google is famous for poo-pooing ideas that won’t make a “billion”. So a buddy sparked me to a little billion-dollar idea for them.
It won’t happen as long as Susan Wojcicki is there because she is too lazy. Whereas Mark over at Facebook drives them to be evil, Youtube’s (is just as) evil primarily because they are too lazy to oversee the monster they built.
My Idea.
Google has proven they can’t do messaging or social networks. However, they can buy things. And if you want a billion-dollar idea you are going to have to put some cash into it. No way around it.
Buy TikTok.
I saw a $60 billion valuation recently, but expect to pay $70–90B plus a little juice to the PRC. That isn’t the genius part.
This is.
Approach the Chinese governmentt and sell them on a platform that is not one, but two components. One is overseen by China’s government which publically is going to the massive move towards a “free-ish society” with the involvement of Google. Of course, it’s China and that’s BS, but they control everything inside the firewall.
Youtube would technically own TOKTUBE, and they have control over the content. Youtube can pull content globally but they can’t force China to keep content up. They are owners and really in charge. Except in the geo-fenced Chinese net. Youtube can’t make the Chinese post videos they don’t want posted, but the Chinese can’t post videos Youtube doesn’t want posted globally or in China.
“That’ll never work!”..
Oh really?
Inclusive, territorial, yes, stupid no. Ping is smart enough to realize when to squeeze and when to release. Global P/R is a real thing for China. If the world is less freaked out by the horrible shit they do, they get away with so much more. Right now you have Western Europe and the US organizing to ebb their flow. This hasn’t happened before and it makes every aspect of the Chinese People’s Party’s future more tenuis. Getting a version of youtube in China will be good for internal morale and partnering with Google would be great for optics.
A new open relationship with a former foe would open doors when India, western Europe and the US are about to close them. It would be seen as a “step in the right direction” socially for an increasingly closed country that is aware they need foreign markets or their economy will die.
And they give up nothing while bringing in an influx of cash greater than the GDP of Guatemala or Luxenberg in one deal. They pretend to be “working on their human rights issues” and give up zero control while also opening up their market (1 small piece at a time) to a tech company they have zero relationships with currently.
Google gets their Instagram to put some juice in Youtube who, TikTok would eventually have eaten alive anyway. They also get the enclave into China in a totally (seen as) altruistic way. They are already trying to create a Chinese-ready search. And getting a ton of blowback.
But if you saw…..
Google has agreed to work with and help transition the People of China into the information age by buying an important, beloved Chinese asset. Both are committed to the evolution and transition of both speech and technology.
You’d buy it.
How do you get the riots to subside? Give the Chinese people Youtube. The deal would also throw serious shade on the tariff-adding, accusations-throwing House of Trump and his administration. Never underestimate the joy you get from humiliating someone you dont like gives you.
China isn’t the clown factory RUSSIA is, but if you think they didn’t notice Biden telling Putin to get a hold on the cyber stuff or he’ll turn your pipelines into water fountains, they did.
Google more or less becomes a faction of your lobbying machine in the US.
The only problem is the whole monopoly thing, but Sundar has already fucked that up so this won’t make it that much worse. And to be honest, if Youtube is eventually broken off, TIK/TUBE (seriously, it’s absolute genius) would be worth soooooo much more than Youtube alone. And coming off the fight to break Google off from Youtube, the DOJ isn’t going to go right back at the part they just broke off.
When Google realizes they need my mind, just hit me up on Twitter.
