The day I put Little One to rest
I just came from the vet, after having to put Little One to rest. The health of the little cat was beyond any hope of recovery. In just two months we lived everything from the joy of sheltering three cats taken from the streets to the grief of seeing one of them die. My Little One is gone.
Little One came into our life unexpectedly, on the first days of September 2015 . My older son, Miguel, found three little cats abandoned on the street. He knew I did not want pets at home, but he asked if we could shelter them for some days until a friend who runs a pet association found a home for them.
I did not want to have any cats at home for a simple reason: I’ve had cats before, and I know how hard it is to say goodbye. I know how easy it is to grow attached to one animal, and I do like cats very much, so much, in fact, that soon I grew attached to the three cats. Still, I tried to play my part as a temporary shelter family and wanted to give the cats away.
The way Little One looked at me from day one — opening photo - was a sign of what was to come: I could not resist photographing Little One. I enjoyed photographing the only male in the trio, Black, and the other female, Yellow, but my attention would mostly go to Little One, because it (she?) knew how to pose. It seemed as if Little One knew of my passion for photography and wanted to use that to reach my heart. So she did.
Although we gave Black way, October 16, I was already planning to keep Little One and Yellow, the two females. We missed Black but having three cats at home — when you didn’t want any to begin with — was difficult, and anyway Black went to make company to a lonely cat and seems to be thriving well. My younger son, João, wanted to take Black, or even all the cats, to make company to his cat, Luna, but we felt it would be a little too much, so we agreed that we would arrange ways to keep in contact with the owners of Black and probably visit them sometimes. And with Little One and Yellow staying with us, João could probably have them for short stays at his place. Dreams…
One of the reasons why we kept Little One was her health problems. From October on she started to have tummy problems, and our runs to the vet started. Nothing had been diagnosed when they came to our place, but now Little One developed fever, lethargy, spending days just sleeping, not being as playful as before. I still wanted to give Yellow and Little One away (part of me wanted, really), but with Little One ill I felt it was not right to even search for owners. And as I felt that in the end I would like to keep her, I wanted Yellow to stay, so they would make each other company.
Earlier this month Little One had to stay at the vet, for almost one week, as she was getting worst. Feline infectious peritonitis (FIP) was pointed as the possible culprit, although it is always difficult to diagnose, but Little One had multiple other problems common to abandoned cats, and that made it difficult to define or even treat what was wrong. We tried multiple things and for the last days there seemed to be some hope, with Little One starting to move a bit around the house, although slowly. I feel now it was probably her saying goodbye to the things she had learned to love: the sun entering the kitchen window, the warmth of our laps, sleeping on the couch.
When Little One came back from the days at the vet I discovered that Yellow, who was always playful with “her sister” treated her a bit as a stranger. No hostility, but not the same way as before. And Little One was weaker, did not want to play, and just slept in my den most of the day, while I was at the computer. There was a lot of medication to give her, and it became difficult to go through these last days. I believe that made her simply give up on life.
Yesterday she did not move much, but today she went to the living room looking for the sun light of the afternoon. I moved her to the kitchen and let her enjoy the sun while sleeping on her basket. When the sun went down I moved her over the kitchen table so she would get a little more of warmth, and after a while took her back to my den, and went back to the computer to write. A sudden move from her basket told me something was wrong. She had a convulsion, then another one. She tried to stand up and fell on the side, unable to move. I held her down and talked softly to her. I felt we had reached the point of no return.
I rang the vet, and my older son, and moved Little One to a quiet area, with a blanket on the floor, covering her with another one. She was still most of the time, but from time to time tried to stand up and move, but all her right side betrayed her. Yellow came and stayed around. I stood there waiting for my son to arrive, holding Little One, talking to her softly, preparing for something I knew was coming.
When we arrived at the vet, they agreed that we really had reached the end of our adventure with Little One. We tried for two months everything we possibly could to save her, but my “model” for some touching photos of cats had reached the end of her short life. She gave us two months of fun and joy and we will always remember her. That’s the reason why I set up this page, as a way to say goodbye to a pet I did not want to have but in the end conquered my heart. Twenty past six in the afternoon she moved on to new places.
It hurts, it always hurts, and that’s something I knew well and did not want to endure again. But I am not sure, now. I am really happy I’ve had a chance to know Little One and experience her funny or serious looks. We, all the family, had some great moments together with her and hope she may rest in peace wherever she is now. Life continues, as Yellow is just trying to eat my shoe laces…
November 17, 2015
In Memoriam of Little One
