BEAUTY STANDARDS | NONFICTION
Internalizing Suffering: When a Beautician Conned Me
And I did nothing
When I failed on most remedies for my acne a few years back, I was tired and almost gave up. I stopped going to the dermatologist, and lay low, like a fallen leaf. I didn’t know I would be walking into a trap in the next few weeks.
I read an advert in a newspaper about home-based services promising clear skin for acne-prone people. I was excited to learn more as it was a well-known brand/franchise. It would also be a comfortable option after a tiring day at work, my career had just begun.
My decision was not about trying another treatment after failures and had nothing to do with wanting to look perfect. It was just about a simple hope and desire to eliminate acne.
After a call, the owner of the franchise visited my home. She was a good-looking woman, with a fair and creamy blemish-free skin, and carried herself well. I was both in awe and intimidated by her strong personality. Her attitude was like, don’t mess with me.
Instead of concentrating on my acne, she criticized my rough and not-so-beautiful hair. Kind of an abuse it was, pulling my hair and showing my supposedly unhealthy scalp to my mother. I never had that. My long and thick black tresses were beautiful, but rough because that’s my hair’s texture. She had no right to comment on that. “First wake-up call for me, which I ignored.”
I should have politely asked her to leave. I didn’t. I didn’t want to offend her, and that was my biggest mistake.
Then, she told me she would treat both my skin and hair issues. I agreed as she had offered me a package. She told me to visit her place instead, as I have lots of issues. “There were no issues other than acne. Still, she noticed lots of issues.”
She said I would get treated better at her parlor. Then, why the advert for a home service? “Second wake-up call.”
But when you are being conned, you won’t realize you are being conned. I went with the flow as I thought this would work. “Even if I don’t look blemish-free like her, I will get rid of the acne.”
When I visited her the next day, she first sold me their shampoos/conditioners. All herbal products. Also claimed that I have dandruff, so the acne — “I never had dandruff, and to date, I don’t.” My first issue to address was acne, but for her, treating my hair was more important. After that, she said my skin was not clear and needed a cleanup. “Another wake-up call.”
As a beautician, she should have known that in sensitive skin cases, you can’t touch the skin. A blackhead remover tool for cystic acne was quite dangerous. Yet, she didn’t bother to take care. She did a facial massage, steam, then removed blackheads/whiteheads. The poking on my face affected the acne to such an extent that blood oozed out. She, at once, harshly pressed cotton buds on my face. She said it's fine. She asked me to wait for a week for the swelling to normalize.
“She didn’t ask me about the pain I went through or how I was feeling.”
While returning, I was embarrassed to walk that small distance from her place to our home. I didn’t want anybody to see my face. My mother was upset, but like me, she also had this feeling that things would be fine.
This became a routine for the next few weeks.
I was silly enough to continue to visit her. At one point, there was too much blood oozing on my face. Yet, she had no concern and just would clean it off. There was no gentleness or empathy in her. All she wanted was to make her venture successful.
Visiting a parlor was a big deal for some families for they considered it repulsive, not good for girls from pious/cultured families. Thus, most would be secretive and careful about the visits. I did not share this with anybody. If I had, despite not liking it, my extended family would have saved me. I continued visiting her, paying for each visit and a bunch of products as I had hopes. I also didn’t want to disappoint my parents and siblings.
As days passed, she started charging more for shampoos. I also noticed a change in the quality of the products. Like an acacia shampoo was of a pleasant light brown color and mild fragrance, thick in consistency, and suited my hair. Now, it wasn’t — color/texture, everything had changed.
She also started charging more for the parlor visits. I had had enough. I used the remaining products, stopped feeling guilty about disappointing my family, and never visited her again.
By that time, my face had had its share of trauma. I avoided her calls. I didn’t want to see her again any time in my life. One late evening, I sobbed to myself. I didn’t have anything else to do.
After a few days, small pimples popped up (as though they were in wait) in all the places where she had done the cleanup.
A month later, I visited my dermatologist for the pending follow-up. He was not pleased with what I had done, yet wrote a prescription.
While leaving the clinic, I saw her again waiting for her turn/talking to the receptionist. I only had questions — why was she here? Did her treatment go wrong on herself? If she does not have a single problem on her face, what is she doing here?
Before she could look at me, I wanted to leave the clinic as though she would chase me. I should have faced her, but I felt embarrassed and simply closed the doors behind me. Embarrassed for what? I don’t know.
The brand was good enough; she, the agent, was not. She aimed to trap vulnerable customers and try different high-cost treatments, establishing her might. I didn’t dare to involve someone from family or friends and report her to the head office of the brand.
I still fail to understand why I failed so badly at that time. Can people be so naïve and swayable like me? There are no answers for this type of foolishness.
This could have been a pleasant experience. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.
I feel the entire episode itself was a lesson for me: Even though you are desperate for something, you should take a step back, think/think deeply about the pros and cons, involve more people, and then take a step forward. If you are worried about what they will say (which would be a temporary glitch in your path for such situations) and if you don’t make informed decisions, you will be laying the groundwork for your losses and failures.
If you were to face people like her, you should be either smart enough to handle them yourself or involve others.
I should have been alert from the first wake-up call itself, but I continued, involving my mother as well, and not allowing her to share it with others.
I’ve internalized the suffering. It was about losing money as well as about how she treated me. I was ashamed of myself for a long time because of her comments. I turned a blind eye to someone who was all out to con me with visible warning signs.
I do, of course, look back in regret for what I went through, but then incidents like these only give you more strength. I’m still grateful that I had the wisdom to at least stop at the point that I stopped availing of her services.
© A.H. Mehr — 2024
With thanks to Chrysa and Team for publishing my story.
