Baby me, Jenny Lane, standing in my wooden crib, hands holding the edge, painted on the wall of my room is a purple first rainbow
Baby Jenny Lane and my Purple First Rainbow, Photo by HL from Author's Archives

Nerve Endings to the World and Purple First Rainbows

Jenny Lane
Catharsis Chronicles
3 min readApr 25, 2024

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Perhaps people see me now as someone who laughs at the joy easily and finds the light in the darkest of mornings. I do flashlight on love and peace and compassion these days.

Maybe you see me as another of the privileged who had it easy along the way. Ah, judgment without knowing. We are such a judgmental species.

But there was a long time I walked around with no skin. Self-torn from a sin that wasn’t mine to carry. I’d be feeling everything heavy. Every puff of wind, every tear you hold, every energy of pain.

That layer of protection for myself seemed not worthy to my soul. Broken, I thought. Unwholesome, I thought. Nerve endings touching the world.

Who could love me without my skin?

Maybe, I’d be safer that way.

Locked into my own walls of fear. Key in pocket broadcasted skinless girl. Come see the freakshow. Really, I didn’t care much if quarters were being thrown at me, or insults.

I had done it all to myself already, I thought. That moment had become me, unaware. The darkest night of my being, carried into every sunrise. But still, I loved, with every electron of my being. Just not my own.

The girl with the purple first rainbow on her wall, now defined herself by one…

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Jenny Lane
Catharsis Chronicles

An overthinking human who writes to make room in her mind and peace in our hearts. Art and words are my love letters to the world.