Time Sensitive

A poem

Photo by Ozan Çulha from Pexels

I set expectations sky-high
to fall harder, longer
making yesterday’s wins
tomorrow’s bare minimum
grinning conspiratorially at myself
like the Joker meme template
what does it matter anyway,
it’s all in your head
which twists, distorts, dilates
gaslights
removes personal growth
with heavy-duty makeup wipes
revealing foundations of thermocol
to punch straight through
or reduce to pulp in November rain.

There I go again
negotiating, begging, breaking
for I am everything she’s not
who taught me to bend, never —
I became a collage artist
memorized every dented piece
making new designs with each shift
5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 months,
should, it repeats, like a ruler
the voice’s favorite word
while mine is we, used gently
cradled in gloved palms.